✔️ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐆𝐎 → ℎ. 𝑝𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦

28 | B O N D S

   "There's something wrong with me."

   Harry looked quizzically down upon her. It was the first warm spring day, and the Potter twins used it to spend some time together down by the lake. Just the two of them, Ember laying in the grass, Harry sitting leaned against a tree. They'd spend most of the time in silence, like they always did in those rare occasions they found the time to hang out. There never had been much words needed, it was more about this feeling of the security of a family that made them feel perfectly comfortable in their silence.

   "What do you mean?", Harry asked, eyebrows knitted.

   Ember's hazel eyes stared up at the sky. Her letter to Remus remained unanswered and she felt stupid for writing him at all. He'd been her teacher, nothing more, and just because he was her father's friend it didn't make him responsible for James Potter's daughter. Two weeks had passed, and every now and then a wave of shame hit her unprepared whenever the letter and those hopes she set into it crossed her mind. She'd been stupid, and childish, but all she did want was something equal to that bond Harry and Sirius shared, and somehow she'd hoped to find such in Remus. That he didn't answer left her frustrated and embarrassed, and in the pit of her stomach a silent anger roared.

   "It's stupid", she muttered, shaking her head lightly. "I just — I don't feel like myself lately, and I'm scared. With all this stuff going on ... I don't know. Just — just forget what I said."

   Not before it was dawning they made their way back to the castle, Ember feeling Harry's stolen glints on her every now and then. Their ways parted in the entrance hall, were Harry took the main stairs and Ember headed down into the dungeon, finding the common room as good as empty. Only a couple of fifth years were studying for their upcoming OWL exams. Ember went straight to the dorm and fell onto her bed, eyes closed she breathed in deeply — and heard a rustling noise under her back, letting her eyes snap open. She lifted her body even enough up to grope for whatever she just had fallen onto, finding a creased envelope.

   Her heart made a jump that didn't feel healthy at all, just to start racing right after. She hadn't seen that writing for almost a full year, but she immediately recognised it. With trembling fingers she ripped the letter open.

   Dear Ember,

   the reasons not to tell you about Peter had been manifold. The most obvious is that neither me, nor Harry did want to upset you. Harry once had to deal with the feeling of the false impression that his godfather was your parents murderer. We agreed to save you from this terrible experience as long as possible.

   My second reason was regret. It had been me, Lily and James wanted to be your godfather. But I was scared. I didn't trust myself enough to agree. I was paralyzed by the pure thought of your parents' death, and taking responsibility for an innocent human being left me horrified. It was me telling Lily to choose Peter. And believe me that I am beyond sorry.

   Know that you can always write to me, whatever is on your mind. Even though it will might take me some time to answer you (especially the days around full moon), be sure I'm there for you.

   You said there's something wrong with you. What exactly do you mean?

   I await your letter.
Take care of you.

          Remus

   The full moon! Of course! Now it was Ember's turn to feel guilty for thinking so bad about Remus. How could she even forget about the full moon?

   Ember read the letter over and over, until her eyes hurt in the dim light of her wand, and she didn't know if this new information should make her happy or even more sad. Remus almost became her godfather. Almost. But then on the other hand, did it really matter if it was an almost?

   The answer was plain and simple. It didn't! What really mattered was that not only Remus, but also Sirius had offered her to be there for her whatever was bothering her, whatever she needed. And that was more than enough.

   She simply couldn't wait for the next day to reply to the letter. Even though it was far past midnight, Ember flung her feet out if the bed and the rest of her body followed. On tiptoes she made her way to the common room to not wake Susan, Hannah or the other girls. She herself was wide awake, and even though after writing the letter, she couldn't just go back to her dorm and wait til the morning until she could go to the owlery. No, she needed to send it now.

   And Ember Potter, who had never voluntarily broke a rule or even tried to cross a line, grabbed an oversized Hufflepuff hoodie one of the boys probably had left lying on an armchair near the fireplace and pulled it over her head. She would have given a damn lot to have Harry's invisibility cloak now, but then again she was invisible enough for everyone without a cloak, so this might was for her fortune tonight.

   At least Ember got undetected into the owlery. She didn't really get why her brother and Ron were so obsessed with roaming the castle at night. It was absolutely creepy, reminding Ember of an old muggle horror movie Dudley once had watched when Mrs Figg had fallen asleep on the couch. Eight year old Ember had been hiding behind behind the canapé, and the random glints she got of the move whenever she dared to bop her head up high enough were more than enough to give her nightmares for three weeks straight.

   Now she was older, but she didn't feel any more brave then back then when she was a kid. With a heart bumping against her ribs like a tambourine, Ember remained just a little while longer in the owlery, looking out of the window. She could see the lake from here, and dimly lit by the half moon the edge of the Forbidden Forest, when a sudden movements caught her attention.

   Even in the darkness, even from this far away, Ember had no doubt about who it was stepping out of the forest's black shadows. His scurrilous features enlightened by the moonlight, hobbling on his wooden leg, a face that also from afar was so terrifying, Alastor Mad-Eye Moody crossed the grounds with huge steps, until he was disappearing in the shadows.

   Her heart now racing, Ember leaned a bit further out of the window to maybe have another glimpse of him. What had Moody done in the forest in the middle of the night, as if this place wasn't scary enough during daytime? And where was he going now?

   "What are you doing here?"

   And her heart stopped.

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