I woke up to Pa missing.
Instagram post: "Iván to Ivanie // I am named in his likeness. // Spanish bore his being, and in Spanish he raised me // "pasa lo que pasa, // sea lo que sea, // siempre será mi hija" // is whispered at joyous moments of growing up. // Pa is a big kid at heart // just how I wanna be"
But the thing is. He left.
To work, I didn't suppose.
But he came back with dirt on his hands.
"Adonde tú te vas?"
I ask after he comes home.
"Por allí."
Shit response.
Because he wants to get back at Ma.
She cheated.
He sleeps in a separate bed.
She yells.
He insults.
She's insecure.
He says more insults.
She takes his money.
He hides his money.
so to get back at her,
He doesn't spend Father's Day with me.
So instead.
I runaway into the creek.
I baptize my soul.
Wash away their sins
From my skin.
Turn moss green.
Inhale the water.
Settle with the soot at the bottom.
Create a home here.
Santuario.
Engulf anybody who comes in.
Show them I love them.
Put water down their nose.
Show them I'll take care of them.
Rush the current around their body.
Show them I'll never leave them.
Put their body under my soot.
Let their body relax under my weight
Because this is my love.
The accident death of a child foretold.
And a friendship foreseen.
