a Letter for Jonghyun

I don't know

I wasn't able to go to SM memorial to post it there because first of all, I don't have enough money. Second of all, I'm poor.

Dear Reader,

You may not understand me at all. You may call me crazy or whatever. But I don't care. I also don't know if you will read my letter to Jjong oppa. But whatever. Here it is.

---------------

"Jonghyunnie oppa. Yes, I called you oppa because I never had a brother and if I have given a chance  to have one, I will choose you. And will always choose you.

You look very tough and very manly but you're the sweetest, kindest, most protective and caring brother that I will never have. I know you, you don't know me but I always tell everyone that you are my brother. I have lots of stories/fictions about you being my brother.(on different sites) It may not be biologically but by heart.

I'm sorry if I cannot go and see you though I wanted to. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to respond from your wake up calls. I'm sorry for not knowing the stories behind your songs and even from the clothes you've wore that has signs. I'm sorry for not being there when you need someone to listen to your voice (we're literally not close). I'm sorry for being so far from you. I'm sorry for letting you go this far with that heavy heart of yours.

I hope you found peace now. I hope you found joy. I hope you found want you wanted. I regret nothing from supporting and loving you. There is nothing to regret about being your fan.

You were a great artist. You were a great singer. You were a great performer. You were a great dj. You were a great dancer. You were a great lyricist. You were a great composer. You were a great producer. You were a great son. You were a great brother. You were a great friend. You were a great father(to Yoogeun and Roo). You were a great person.

I will never forget an amazing person. I will never forget the amazing and blingest Jonghyun. I will miss your voice, your smile, your laughter and I will miss you as being Jonghyun.

SHINee will remain as five.
SHINee will always be five.
SHINee will forever be five.

I will always support and love SHINee as a group and individual.

This is very hard for me to accept but I have to. I will always love you. You did GREAT, Jonghyun oppa!

Love,
Joy