Every Second Counts. Phan.

three

dan

i woke up alone. 08:37 am my phone read. i shielded my eyes from the bright light my phone screen emitted. it was far too early too but i was far to wake to fall back asleep. i sat up slowly and got dressed in black skinny jeans and a black shirt. darkness to reflect my feelings.

i trudged slowly to the main area where a few people were hovering around. all the leaders i passed smiled at me but i ignored them. breakfast was bland consisting of two slices of toast and minimal butter to accompany.

"can everyone sit down and listen. breakfast will be from 7 am to 10 am, lunch 11 am to 1 pm and dinner from 5 pm to 7 pm. i'll call you each up and give you your therapy times."

i grabbed a bottle of water.

"daniel howell"

"it's dan"

"give me your wrist. you will be with dr red at 9:30 am"

he wrote this down on my wristband.

one by one the others around me went up and found out their times. to my left i saw phil talking to some others, laughing and having a good time. he saw me looking in his direction and shot me of his bright smile. i rolled my eyes and turned away. i don't want friends.

9:30 am rolled around quicker then i wanted it to and before i know what was happening i was sat in a room in front of a well-dressed women. she had shoulder length deep brown curly hair, glasses sat on her nose and blood red lipstick.

"hello daniel i'm dr red and i'll be your therapist for your time here" a wide smile spread across her features with shining white teeth.

"it's dan," i said emotionlessly.

"so for your first sessions thought we could get to know each other better. have you made any friends yet?"

"no"

"are you planning on making friends?"

"no"

"why not?"

"i don't care about having friends"

i was looking down at my feet. i couldn't stand to look at her.

"dan look at me. do you want to get better?"

i squeezed my eyes shut. she sounded like my mum. tears welled in my eyes and i nodded.

"i just don't know how"

tears were cascading down my face. it's been a long time since anyone has been that hard with me.

"i think that's all for now just try and talk to some new people maybe you tent mate philip i think. oh yes, i have him next. i'll talk to him for you" with that i got up and walked out wiping my eyes multiple times.

i ran. ran back to the tent and cried. i cried for two hours and missed the activities. like i care about that anyway.

leaves crunched outside making my shoot up.

"dan" a small voice called.

"dan are you in there?" it was phil. i berried my face into my pillow hoping he would go away. of course, he didn't.

"i'm coming so don't be naked," he said with a laugh.

i could feel his eyes burning into the back of me as he sat on his bed.

"i was told that you might need someone to talk to. also, you've been let off activities for today but i haven't so i'll have to go back in half an hour so i don't have long" his rambling will be with the death of me.

"so do you want to talk"

"no" i replied lowly.

"oh okay i'll just stay here in case you do until i have to leave obviously"

silence fell over the tent. 10 minutes passed and he was still here.

"you don't have to stay"

"no, but i want too" that's bright smile also will be the death of me.

"just leave i'm not ready to talk yet" i hoped this excuse would make him leave.

"if you're sure? anyway, i have to go now but we can talk later okay" with that he was running out of the tent and down the path. and i was alone again.