Goth Problems # WattPride

Seven

One thing I never told Jacob or my parents was that Aaron had begged that we could at least stay friends. I didn't know why I kept it to myself. It just felt weird to tell anyone else; it felt like a violation somehow. Aaron was so broken, he was desperate to keep me in any way he could. "It'll be difficult," I admitted when he asked. At that, Aaron broke into another round of sobs. "Aaron, when we f-first broke up, I wanted that, too. I wanted to stay together somehow, but... but I'm thinking clearly now and I get that being in each other's lives will just do more harm than good."

He stammered out pleads, his voice trailing off when he saw I wasn't giving in.

"What happens when one if one of us starts seeing someone else?"

"We won't." Somehow, Aaron was so sure of this. Probably was confident us getting back together was a guarantee.

I shook my head. "It is just going to salt the wound. Seeing one another but not being together will just make it that much worse."

"I don't care if it hurts. I need to be close to you."

It was the way he brought himself into my arms and nuzzled my chest that had me break down. I agreed we could be friends, just friends, and he was so happy he actually stopped crying.

A couple weeks went by. I never saw Aaron on campus and he must not have gotten that job at the Shack, because not once did I or any of my friends see him working. Troy also found out Aaron quit the job he'd had at the café. "He's scared of seeing Myer," Troy explained. He'd asked Madison, who explained the whole situation to him.

"Do you guys still talk to Myer?" I brought up, stirring some coffee in my cup. We were at Jacob and my apartment, getting ready for a road-trip over spring-break. Aaron was supposed to be there with us. We'd been plotting this since September.

When neither Dyce nor Troy answered, I knew.

"It's cool," I promised. "He's your best friend. He just... just fell for someone he didn't have the right to fall for. That doesn't make him an awful human being."

"If it makes you feel better, Aaron hasn't talked to him since you guys broke up. Myer tried getting Aaron to move in with him to help with the rent issue, but Aaron refused. By the sounds of it, Aaron is in pretty crappy shape," Dyce spoke up, slinging a backpack over his shoulder. With a sharp shrug, he muttered, "The asshole deserves it."

Aaron started showing up to class again finally after spring-break. He didn't seem much better; he wasn't wearing make-up anymore, never dressed in anything but that ugly hoodie of his and those holey jeans, and rarely- if ever- lifted his head when he walked. I walked up to him once and tried asking him how he was doing, but Aaron stopped me. "No. You're right. It's too hard. Let's n-not do this," he begged, hands up in defense.

I didn't try talking to him again sophomore year and it killed me just a little bit. He started to fade away by the time we returned to school junior year. Somehow, he just kept shrinking, and it worried me more than I liked to admit.

Troy reported he found Aaron had gotten a job at a Hot Topic in the mall, which was fitting. Aaron loved Hot Topic.

My friend dragged me along with him one day when he was searching for pins to don his new backpack. Hot Topic was mostly cleared out except for two preteens gushing over the new Supernatural merch in the corner. Aaron was standing behind the counter, adjusting some tags on new items.

I was watching him the whole time while Troy hunted the jar of pins, squealing when he found a pin with Alexander Hamilton's face on it. Aaron was somehow thinner; he resembled one of those clay stop-motion figures from The Corpse Bride. Victor, that's who he reminded me of. The spindly main character with the sunken in, dead eyes and the pasty skin.