Sequel to: Do You Think I'm Okay?
💗🏅NUMBER 1 IN #notokay🏅💗
Last time we spoke, I was telling you about how cliche my life is- was.
I was telling you how I'm an actress and model, a celebrity alongside Emma Watson, Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton...
In these dark times, I decided to put on my baby's art. Any xanarchist readers? 💔 I'm in love :)
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I know it's backwards but I like it. Idk why, but I feel calmer now. I've been playing x's songs on repeat and listening to Xan as well to make me feel better. I guess Diego just makes me happy :))
As you can tell, im a lil out of it with x's death and all, but I'm trying to update for you guys so..
Precious Pineapple of the Day goes to- x, because he was the most precious out of them all. r.i.p. baby, you're okay now.. ✨
On with the heartbreak 💔
I paced back in forth, my whole body sweating like I had just ran a 10 mile marathon. To say I was extremely anxious and nervous was an understatement.
Yesterday, I finally opened up and told William about the pregnancy. And he couldn't have been any lovelier about it, too. He smiled brightly, pulling me into a skin tight hug, kissing both of my cheeks and telling me how happy he was.
He said he knew why I was nervous, but that no matter what, he would be there to help along, since he was a father of 4 and all.
It was definitely a refreshing reaction, definitely after Emma's and most definitely before Tom's.
I couldn't help but have negative thoughts about how Tom would react, I mean, we had only been dating for a month at least. He's most likely not even close to being ready for children.
But I shrugged off my thoughts as I turned to my phone, connecting it to my Beats pill and playing my 'Get happy, hoe' playlist.
Diplo's 'Color Blind' ft. Lil Xan came on, the beat and melody instantly putting my tense muscles to rest.
(I honestly don't care if you listen to Lil Xan or not, if you don't like him or if you do. I'm using this song because it's been curing my panic attacks lately, especially with the whole death of x. Not to be rude, but please deal with it. :) ALSO: I recommend listening to the song while reading this. It's worth listening to, I swear.)
