There were pros and cons to every relationship; no couple would be "the perfect couple" because, to put it simply, perfect people didn't exist. So it was no surprise when Katsuki and Shouto started to argue every now and again, though over mostly trivial things; they understood each other, and they trusted each other to be faithful and do their part for the both of them. Though, not every fight was one to be worried about in the long run.
This one though...this one would be on Katsuki's mind for the next few weeks.
His boyfriend had suggested that Katsuki meet his dad, which wouldn't have been a problem if he weren't wary of his dad. No big deal though, apart from the fact that his father was the number two pro hero Endeavor; not to mention the guy was fucking terrifying. Besides his father being nightmare material to literally any sane human, Katsuki was nearly paralyzed by the fear of not passing well. If he didn't, he was sure Endeavour would chew him out. However, if he did pass well, then what were the chances he would do so every time he met with Shouto's father? Just the thought sent him into a panic. The last thing he wanted was for Endeavor to find out that his son was dating a boy like him.
The last thing he wanted to do was force Shouto into such a position.
A week passed since Shouto had suggested that-and today was finally the day. He had gone over to Katsuki's place to pick him up, having decided it would be better to introduce him over dinner. Luckily, no one was home and when his boyfriend opened the door, he couldn't help but grin as he stepped inside.
With an arm wrapped firmly around his waist and one resting gently on his cheek, Shouto gave the blond a sweet peck on the lips. They hadn't kissed properly yet-they weren't ready. Neither had any complaints about that though; they wanted each other to be comfortable. A quiet hum left Katsuki's lips, followed by a quiet, "What if he thinks I'm sick or something?"
It was a legit question, and Shouto knew that. He was silent for a minute before he headed to Katsuki's room, the boy beside him as he walked. "I'm not going to lie and say he'll love you. Hell-he doesn't even love his own kids. But he isn't going to say that. His pride is too far up his ass for him to actually say what he thinks about you."
"Geez, at least sugar coat it."
Shouto glanced at his boyfriend before he kissed his cheek affectionately. "You know I don't do that."
Katsuki sighed, crossed his arms stubbornly. "Why are we up here?" He stepped away from Shouto, and into his room; he sat on the bed, though kept his eyes on the other boy.
"I'm gonna help dress you," Shouto said simply. There wasn't a trace of anything else in his words.
"Dress me? Sho, I'm not a fuckin' toddler."
He wasn't listening. Shouto sifted through the closet in silence, examining countless shirts and jeans and cardigans; nothing was to his taste. "Do you have any button down shirts that aren't part of your uniform?" He turned, and Katsuki pointed to a dark oak dresser in the corner of the room. "Thanks."
There weren't many options for him to work with but no matter-Shouto would find something along the lines of formal to help his boyfriend pass better, even if it meant continuously searching through the same six shirts.
It really didn't take him long to put together the outfit he had envisioned. Red button down, black jeans with holes in the knees. It wasn't too much, wasn't anything super fancy, but it fit Katsuki. He popped the collar and adjusted the belt. He put a hand on his cheek again. "Hey, look at me." His voice was quiet. Gentle.
Katsuki did, lifting his vermilion eyes up to meet ocean blue and storm grey.
"You're going to be okay."
"I'm just nervous." He slipped his hand down to Shouto's free one, linking their fingers. Katsuki's hands were always a lot warmer than Shouto's, but neither of the boys really cared. It was one of those unspoken joys of their relationship--a sort of taboo thing to dwell on for too long. They liked it like that.
"We'll be okay. I promise you."
___
Needless to say, their trip to Shouto's house was a literal disaster. The minute Shouto walked in hand in hand with Katsuki, his father gave a disgusted, "really?" As if that weren't enough, he had the audacity to negatively bring up Shouto's relationship during dinner, belittling it constantly. If anything, Enji was pissed that his son wouldn't have a normal relationship. It wasn't that he hated Katsuki (he did, just not for the obvious reason), it was more that he hated...Katsuki.
And when dinner was over, he still wouldn't let the boys be alone. Or leave.
So they begrudgingly stayed after dinner.
At some point after dinner, Katsuki excused himself to leave for the bathroom. He wasn't angry at Enji-it wasn't his fault. The real anger exploded inside of him when he looked in the mirror for the first time that night--and found that he really didn't pass.
At all.
Hot tears pooled in his eyes, and he felt a seething hatred rise within him. It was always there in him, always swirling through his veins like the blood that occupied them. He had hated himself since he understood what the fuck it meant to be trans.
He wasn't angry at Enji.
He was more so upset with the fact that he had looked like a fool. Maybe he was. Maybe he really was just looking for attention. Maybe he wasn't constantly frustrated with his own body; forced into a shit-storm of liking and hating what he was born with. Because he wasn't in the wrong body, his body was just made...wrong. It wasn't made to his liking.
He stared at his reflection in the mirror. It didn't stare back. It wasn't him. He felt like he was having a weird out of body experience except he wasn't. He was still standing there, staring at...whoever was in the mirror.
Tears were rolling down his cheeks. At some point, he heard Shouto walk in to check on him. He felt out of it still. His body was on auto-pilot. The Katsuki that had arrived at the Todoroki household had retreated back into himself; the Katsuki that left wasn't the same as the one who had entered.
He thanked Enji for the food. He bid the hero goodbye.
Shouto walked his boyfriend back home, though he said nothing. He let Katsuki hold his hand as tight as he needed to as they walked. Night time had set in, though the moonlight wasn't romantic; the stars lost their beauty and the crickets had gone silent. Katsuki wasn't aware of any of those things.
"Babe...do you want me to stay over...?" Shouto had asked when they reached the front door. He felt horrible for putting Katsuki through that painful visit. His boyfriend shook his head and gave him a weak smile.
"That's okay," he uttered through lips that didn't feel like his own. "I'll call you in the morning, okay? I'm probably gonna knock the fuck out." He reluctantly pulled his hand away. He was painfully aware of how cold and empty it felt.
He opened the door. Bid Shouto his own goodbye, though this one felt more like a farewell. He didn't know why.
When he got inside the dark home, he sat against the stairs. He wondered why he never felt real. He never felt really happy. He had a taste when he was with Shouto, or his mother, or sometimes even Deku--but that wasn't the kind of happiness he strove for. What he felt with them was euphoria.
He didn't want that.
The moon rose higher. He hadn't moved from where he sat on the stairs. He curled in on himself, whilst he hugged his own body. His fingertips dug into his sides as he closed his eyes and settled in to sleep.
