"What's it like?" He reached for Katsuki's hand, lacing their fingers together. They were laying in Katsuki's bed, staring at the few stick on stars that remained from his childhood; it was dark, and their glow was just barely visible. They were quiet for a moment.
"What's what like?" Katsuki turned his head and watched his boyfriend with his vermilion eyes. His voice was hoarse, and quiet--following the sports festival last week, he had lost it. (Thank God.) Not only had so much yelling put a strain on his vocal chords, but the hundreds of eyes watching him had worn him thin emotionally. Overcompensating his masculinity often lead him to breakdown in various ways.
"You know...being trans...?"
Katsuki wasn't sure if he was dreading or anticipating the question these past few months, though a part of him was still kind of happy to answer it. "I can't tell you what it's like, Shou." Katsuki sounded tired, as if the question weighed him down like a tidal wave battering on the coastline . "It's hard to fathom what I feel into words."
"Try?" His boyfriend sighed and he sat up. When he got comfortable, he ran a hand through his choppy blond hair.
"For me," he played with Shouto's hand, not meeting his eyes. Katsuki played with his fingers--or in this case, Shouto's--whenever he got nervous. It was a suppressed habit, of sorts. "Everything is wrong. I was born wrong-"
"No, Kats-"
"No, listen. I'm trans, because my brain developed wrong. My brain doesn't match my body. Get it?"
"...Kind of." Shouto had sat up too by then, his brows furrowed. He really didn't know anything about trans matters, though Katsuki didn't hold it against him--he knew Shouto wanted to learn as much as he could to help in anyway.
"In the womb...my body was made female, but my brain developed male." He tapped his head to prove a point. "It's like being one thing, and being seen as something else. Like if I look at you and call you Endeavour."
Shouto straightened a little, a grumpy expression on his pretty face. "I'm not him."
"Exactly." He wasn't sure if he explained it well enough--he did simplify it as much as possible. Silence fell over the room. They seemed to share that a lot, silence. It was their unspoken truce of confidentiality--quiet was their way of showing mutual respect in times of emotional need.
"Katsuki!" The sound of his mother's voice surprised him, sure, but it was the reason she called him down that made him jump up in excitement. He grabbed Shouto's hand and kissed him quickly--his mind was elsewhere.
"Let's go. Get dressed."
The boys didn't waste any time dressing themselves, throwing on whatever they could; even Katsuki didn't fret about his clothing too much. He had thrown on dark jeans and a t-shirt, topping it off with a light jean jacket. His boyfriend had put on the only clothes that would fit him properly--a dark turtleneck and jeans. Shouto finally spoke once they had both dressed themselves. "Where are we headed?"
Shouto sauntered over and enveloped Katsuki in a tight hug, his arms locked firmly around his waist; he leaned down for a passionate kiss, and was happily surprised when his boyfriend returned it with the biggest smile he could muster. "To get my first shot."
The look on Shouto's face was beyond what Katsuki could describe it as; he seemed way more surprised than the blond did, which was kinda cute to Katsuki. Shouto grabbed his boyfriend's face and kissed him passionately for a moment before he pulled away with a smile. "I'm so fucking proud of you, Katsuki."
"Yeah, well." He chuckled breathlessly. "Couldn't have done it without you."
Shouto rolled his eyes. "That was lame as shit," he retorted, pushing his hands through Katsuki's thick hair.
