So it's the start of 2018. I was madly in love with L. It was honestly horrible. Having a crush on someone is all fun and games until you realize that the person you like makes you feel things that you never knew you could. I was feeling depressed because I always told myself "just stop trying, you'll never get her" or "if you can't have her, you don't deserve anything."
It was January and I was feeling more and more empty. I told more of my friends about how I feel about my sexual orientation. I told them that I like this girl in our class. I even told L. I was so fucking nervous. My friends accepted me and I was so happy. I obviously didn't come out fully because I was in a catholic middle school and the boys there were like fucking mindless dipshits. (Sorry I really hate them)
I come home one day and I needed to tell my parents. I felt like it was weighing me down.
Nightfall comes and I'm watching television with my mom when she turns to me and goes, "you look like you're hiding something. Talk to me." It was either telling her that I got a D on my math test or telling her why I really broke up with Green.
I look at her and go "so you know how I broke up with Green?" She nods. "Well it's because I have feelings for a girl."
She turned away from me. She started to laugh. "You're just messing with me," she says, "tell me the true reason." When I didn't answer her, that was the confirmation she needed. She started to shake her head and say that I'm wrong and that I don't know what I'm feeling.
We haven't talked about it since.
