I completely forgot about this... journal I guess? Idk what to really call it. A lot has happened since I last wrote. So I'll try to fill y'all in.
Last time I informed y'all was when I was getting my first therapist. Her name was Rhonda. She was awesome. I saw her over the summer of 2018.
But then she left. Like she just moved to a different state and I was out of a therapist.
I started high school without someone to talk to and it was hard. I still wasn't out to my family yet, but I did tell my sister one night by texting her on Snapchat even though she was a door away.
Freshman year was rough. Don't get me wrong, I had fun, but it was just stressful.
Then homecoming. Where shit went down.
So during the summer, I had started talking to a girl. She didn't live in the same state as me and we actually met on this app. I was happy. This is relevant to the story, trust me.
So I was "talking to someone" while I was still in the closet and I couldn't tell anyone about her. I told my friends because I had already came out to them before her, but that's it.
So one night, it was like September 29th or something like that, I came out to my mom in the car on our way to McDonald's.
Weird, right?
I just had the sudden urge to tell my mom. Even though she did deny what I told her the previous year, I felt safe.
I didn't flat out say the words "I'm gay" but I did say I didn't like boys. I couldn't say "I'm gay". Like I just couldn't force the words out of my mouth.
And you know what my mom said to me? She said "Your dad and I already know. We saw your girlfriend's contact on your phone"
My heart dropped into my fucking asshole.
One: she wasn't my girlfriend. The contact said her name on it and a ❤️. Two: I just wasn't fucking expecting that.
So long story short I cried a lot, my mom cried, she told my dad for me, and they were both supportive. At first there was an awkward tension, but that dissipated over time.
That was like a week before homecoming.
Homecoming went well. I was still talking to the girl and my mom says out loud (next to a bunch of people I hadn't came out to yet in the middle of a restaurant) "oh by the way I accidentally called your girlfriend while trying to show your dad her contact picture" and I was like "MOTHER PLEASE! Not here"
At this point, I'm sure everyone knows, and honestly I'm okay with that.
I do remember there was this one kid in my computer apps class that just came up to me and was like "so I've been hearing around and I have a question for you" and I was like "is it if I'm gay" and he goes "yeah" so all I say is "yeah I am" and he was just like "oh cool cool"
Currently I'm seeing my second therapist once a week. I don't talk to that girl anymore. That kinda just went away after like 5 months.
But, I'm happy and content.
So I just wanted to give y'all an update, (if you would read this anyway, it's been like a year)
✌️
