All I Want - Megatron X Reader

All I Want Is ~ 20

CHAPTER TWENTY
2ND POV
7-23-18
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   "Your Insecticons nearly murdered my friend." Way to start a conversation, Y/N.

   You were in your usual meet-up spot with Megatron, sitting criss-cross-applesauce at the mech's side. You fidgeted with your servos in your lap and bit your derma as soon as the words left your intake. He sat with his (thicc) thighs a pede away from his chassis, his arms resting on his knees.

   "My apologies." The warmonger didn't say anymore than that. Any reason that came to mind to defend the actions of his own faction, or distance himself from his followers' choices, would only make you angrier. He could already tell you were getting antsy from both anxiousness and annoyance.

   "Apologies?" You muttered. You weren't sure what else you were expecting. In a bold move, you leaned on Megatron's side, before glancing up at him. His optic ridges shot upwards in surprise, but he refused to meet your gaze out of embarrassment, momentarily forgetting the tension building between you. You switched your attention to the ground. What were you even doing.

   "Truly, I am sorry. It was never my intention. I'm thankful that you were unharmed during your encounter with Soundwave." He had ordered that no harm was to come to you after all. You looked him in the optics and gave a sad smile as a silent 'thank you'.

   "If you keep this war going, I don't think sorry's gonna cut it. It definitely doesn't for my team," You sighed. "If you keep it going, I'm not gonna allow myself to go through it in between battles with you. That's not why I'm here."

   Translation: I'm going to leave your hopeless aft if you don't stop.

   Megatron couldn't blame you. The war, even the idea of it, had—once upon a time—gotten him excited. Now, just looking at your face, an upset expression that was failing miserably at being masked by calmness, it only broke his spark. But there was something, he wasn't sure what, but it had him holding onto the war.

   What was it? The thrill of the battle? The un-acceptance he would find himself drowning him? Or, was it the fear that you would be harmed for the kindness and compassion you'd shown him?

   Megatron groaned. He put his helm in his servos and rested his elbows on his knees. You felt his body shift against yours. You once again found yourself looking up at the warlord, this time with a concerned expression, worry clear in your optics.

   "I don't know," the mech grumbled. Your optic ridges presses downward in confusion.

   "What?" You asked quietly.

   "I said I don't know," Megatron repeated in a growling tone.

   "What do you mean you don't know?!" You cried, leaping upwards and onto your pedes. You stood in front of him with a distressed look taking hold of your faceplates. Your servos were stuck by your sides, digits open and unknowing as to what to do.

   To prevent himself from yelling, and therefore scaring the living daylights out of you, the ex-gladiator did his best to calm himself down.

   "I mean, I'm not ready." Megatron lifted himself off of the ground and stood on his large pedes. He towered over you with an equally distressed expression, but more so confused as frustrated. "You make me want to end it all but there's just something stopping me. I don't know what it is: whether it's the thrill of our battles that remind me of my days as a gladiator, the insolent voice of greed in my helm, or the fear you will be treated just as horribly as me if your team ever discovers us-"