Hesitation

1

Tiffany Hwang is the only girl in the knock-off 60’s diner, and it doesn’t bother her one bit. There are three guys at her table, laughing along with her and buying her sodas. A couple of other guys in the place have glanced in her direction and smiled in response to her smile. She already knows she’s not the least bit “interested” in any of them, and she knows they know that too deep down, but they’re nice guys and she’s having a good time so this time she doesn’t worry about sending the wrong signals.

“So, you looking forward to starting at USC in the fall, Tiffany?” one of them asks in a friendly manner.

She grins. “Totally! I can’t wait. It’s going to be so much fun!”

One of the other guys lets out a playful chuckle. “Sure, Tiffany. Law is so much fun.”

She slaps him lightly on the arm and they all laugh together – she ignores the jealous glances from some of the other guys. “Well, sorry for being such a nerd, then,” she jokes.

Tiffany’s phone beeps and she checks the message. Of course it’s from her father, asking if she will be home in time for dinner. She glances at the time and types a quick reply for him. Then she turns her irresistible eye-smile on her companions and begins to stand up.

“Sorry guys, I’ll be heading home now,” she says in her normal friendly tone and the boys complain half-heartedly but let her go – because after all they’re willing to do anything for her.

Tiffany sighs contentedly once she’s alone outside. She walks over to her little car, her heels clacking on the sidewalk. She daydreams about starting her Law degree at the University of Southern California in a few months, feeling an undeniable excitement at finally getting closer to one of her dreams.

Dreams, she thinks to herself as she drives home, dreams are silly sometimes. She used to want to be a singer – she scoffs – but that never happened. She fiddles with the stereo of her car, connects it to her portable music player, and plays a Korean pop song for the sake of nostalgia. Her attachment to her Korean heritage isn’t very strong, but she reminisces about that year when she got hooked on Korean pop music like the song she listens to now. Her father had recently suggested going to South Korea on a family vacation, and she wonders if it would be nice there.

“Do you know if there’s a Korean club at USC?” her father asks as they eat together at the dining table.

Tiffany shrugs. “I don’t know. Why, do you want to join?”

Her father gives her a playful glare.

“Ha, ha. You sure are a funny kid. No, I was thinking it might be nice for you to join. You could make some friends.”

“I don’t think making friends will be a problem, Dad, you know me.”

“Yeah, yeah – my daughter, the queen of socialising.” He rolls his eyes and gives her a grin.

“Still, it would be an easy way to form connections. If there isn’t one, maybe you should create one? There’s bound to be Koreans there. And hey, maybe it’ll look good on your record, huh?” He winks.

Tiffany smiles at her father’s antics. “Okay, Dad. I’ll see.”

She does see, in her first week at USC, that there’s a well-established club for international Korean students and is well aware that she doesn’t fit into such a club. Her eyes scan over the rest of the list of student organisations and she wonders how many Korean-Americans there are just like her.

“Ah, excuse me?”

Tiffany is surprised by the heavily-accented voice from her left. A petite Asian girl, presumably the same age as her since it’s unlikely that anyone younger would be around, blinks at her with an awkward smile.