Hesitation

4

Taeyeon asks Tiffany about the etiquette required when strangers ask her out on a date. She’s not interested in any of them, and she doesn’t react well to their chosen methods of approach, but she doesn’t want to be rude as she has no reason to dislike them. She knows Tiffany gets more than her fair share of offers on a frequent basis.

“Just say no thanks,” Tiffany responds, eyes still on the pad of paper she’s writing on. She’s lying on her stomach on Taeyeon’s bed, kicking her legs in the air behind her, chewing on the tip of her pen every now and then as she works on her essay.

Taeyeon swivels around in her desk chair. “No thanks? Just like that? No, thanks. No thanks! No thank you. Inflection?”

Tiffany sighs, letting herself be distracted from her work, and turns to Taeyeon. “Ask me out.”

Taeyeon blinks. “Tiffany, are you free for coffee sometime?”

“No, thanks!” Tiffany eye-smiles, a certain eye-smile that Taeyeon has noticed she uses primarily on males.

“But is that really enough?” Taeyeon asks curiously, edging closer to the bed.

“Well, you basically offered to buy me coffee,” Tiffany says, looking back at her paper and twirling her pen. “So, I say thanks for the offer of free coffee but no thanks. Or on another level, you’ve offered me your company for a time, so I say thanks for the opportunity to get to know you but no thanks. Get it?”

Taeyeon looks thoughtful. “But saying that won’t work for everything. Sometimes they ask differently. Like… Tiffany, you are gorgeous.”

Tiffany blinks in surprise. The way Taeyeon pronounces the word ‘gorgeous’ completely throws her mind off course. She looks back at Taeyeon who is regarding her with a serious expression. “Huh?”

“Isn’t that statement also regarded as an expression of romantic interest or attraction? Would the words ‘no thanks’ still be appropriate with such a situation? Imagine I’m a total stranger, and I come up to you after class and tell you how beautiful you are.”

Tiffany stares at Taeyeon. Then she puts her pen down, sits up on the edge of the bed, and takes Taeyeon’s hands in her own.

“Thank you so much for your kindness,” she says. “And you leave as soon as you can. Not too rude, but not giving the impression of interest. Okay?”

Taeyeon sighs but nods. They sit there, still holding hands. Tiffany absently fiddles with Taeyeon’s fingers and moves their hands around.

“I like your hands,” Taeyeon murmurs.

Tiffany smiles shyly. “Thanks. Yours aren’t all that bad either.”

They both laugh lightly, looking at each other briefly before looking away again. Tiffany detaches their hands and moves forward to envelop Taeyeon in a tight hug.

And even though they both close their eyes, Tiffany is absolutely sure of it this time when Taeyeon tilts her head slightly in Tiffany’s direction and takes a deep breath. She opens her eyes again, turning her face towards Taeyeon.

She is amazed to find that in her thoughts at that it would feel totally natural for her to move even closer to Taeyeon and kiss her.

She hesitates, then moves closer and kisses Taeyeon on the cheek. Taeyeon freezes, frowning and keeping her eyes closed. Tiffany decides to take a risk and do it again, lingering for longer on the smoothness of Taeyeon’s cheek. Taeyeon relaxes slowly. Tiffany returns to her previous position, tightening the hug.