Hesitation

2

They don’t have a lot of time for each other but when they can, they get together and talk about America and Korea as they try different foods. Tiffany loves talking, and she loves how Taeyeon listens to her talk and then she talks, which gives Tiffany the much-enjoyed opportunity to listen to how Taeyeon talks.

She encourages Taeyeon to come with her to the nearest beach after their classes have finished for the day. They’ve become closer over the course of the two months since they met, so Taeyeon’s awkward little smile is less awkward around Tiffany, and the tension in her shoulders that Tiffany notices sometimes is reduced when they laugh together.

Tiffany locks the car with her hand that isn’t clutching her towel, sunscreen and sunglasses. Taeyeon stretches her petite frame after the car ride, even though it wasn’t very long, and gazes out at the ocean right by them. Tiffany smiles at the sight of Taeyeon breathing in the fresh air with deliberation. She steps over to her as she pockets her car keys, and brushes her arm along Taeyeon’s forearm to take a loose hold of her hand.

Skinship is a common thing in Korea, Tiffany knows that, so she doesn’t think twice before doing something like this and Taeyeon doesn’t act weirdly in response. A couple of times Taeyeon has nonchalantly wrapped her arm around Tiffany’s lower back or rested her hand on her knee as they talked, and once Taeyeon rested her head on Tiffany’s shoulder – though she’s sure the feeling she got of Taeyeon inhaling her scent was probably just her imagination.

Taeyeon follows Tiffany’s eager tug and they make their way down to the sand and sea. They’ve slipped off their shoes already, supporting each other over the dunes and laughing already for no apparent reason.

“Sandcastle?” is the first suggestion from Taeyeon. She’s giving Tiffany a grin with a playful glint in her eyes, which makes Tiffany giggle and eye-smile without realising.

Taeyeon stares at her again. This has only happened a few times since that day when they met, and Tiffany has just gotten used to it. She thinks maybe one day she’ll ask Taeyeon why she stares at her sometimes, but she’s in no hurry to find the answer.

“Sure, let’s start with a sandcastle,” Tiffany says, diverting Taeyeon’s attention to the sand beneath their toes immediately.

“I hear it’s easier with buckets,” says Taeyeon conversationally, crouching down and running her fingers through the sand. “And those small shovels.”

Tiffany joins her, letting her towel and sunscreen land on the beach and putting her sunglasses on her head, not over her eyes.

“It should be okay if we try well. The important thing is water!”

Taeyeon glances over shoulder at the great body of salt water, and back at the sand in front of them. “Should we go close, or bring water here?”

In the end, their sandcastle looks more like a lump of damp sand, but they’re quite pleased with it nonetheless, after the effort of positioning it at a perfect distance so that they could carry water from the sea to their castle with minimal spillage and maximum productivity.

It’s getting close to sunset as they lie on their backs on Tiffany’s towel and gaze up at the sky.

“How about this… 첫 사랑니? Do you know it?”

Tiffany frowns. “Sarang-ni? Isn’t that your wisdom tooth or something?”

Taeyeon nods in affirmation. “It is the first wisdom tooth, but is also used to mean first love.”

Tiffany turns her head to face Taeyeon. “Huh? How does that work?”

“It is said that the pain of the wisdom tooth is like the pain of first love,” Taeyeon replies, turning her head to face Tiffany too.