Dormmates

Chapter 25

"I'm sorry, it seems like all I've been doing lately is uploading all my problems on you." I said throwing myself onto my bed. Ellah held out her arm. " Hold it right there. There is no need to apologize. My ears are yours. Lets have it."

I took a deep breath. "Oh, Ellah," i don't have anyone in my love life" Ellah tilted her head to the side and scrunched up her face quizzically.

" Wait a minute Abby. Am i missing something here? Since when do you not have anyone?" " Since last night, Ellah!" I scribbled aimlessly on the cover of my notebook, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill out again.

" Remember the girl we saw the other day,the one that looked like Lauren, turns out it was her and she's staying here."

"What? for good?"

" I think so. And Bret is planning on going back to her. He is going to break up with me Ellah, I just know it" I began to sob not only because of Bret but also the fact that I was dreading Ellah's response. Ellah had told me to take it slow before I chose to date Bret, but I ignored her advice.

I watched my best friend anxiously crack her knuckles a habit of Ellah's that usually indicated she was holding back. But instead of Ellah passing any judgments, I was thankful when Ellah simply cleared her throat and asked me to explain everything from the beginning.

True friend that Ellah was, she didn't even say, " I told you so" and after I had finished explaining, Ellah gave me a warm tight hug.

" I think you did the right thing," Ellah said patting me on the back. " Give Bret some time to get his head together before he comes back to you." "But what if he dosen't come back to me?"

Ellah dug a fresh tissue out of her book bag and handed it to me. Ellah let out an exasperated groan. " Come on now. he didn't even say he wanted to break up with you, your the one who said that."

" But i know he is going to have to get together with her. I don't have any problems with Lauren personally, and i know i shouldn't feel this way. but just the thought of them together drives me crazy. I want him to be happy but-"

" i think your getting ahead of yourself, " Ellah interrupted " didn't you say he needed time to resolve the thing with Lauren?" "yes, but-" " then how do you know that he is not breaking up with her right now? Everyone knows how much Bret loves you. When you think bout it, Lauren was just a transitional phase- between you and you. Have some faith in him."

I desperately needed to hear Ellah's comforting words, but no matter how much I wanted to believe them, I could not convince myself too. It was like running cold water over a burn: it helped for a second, but when it was over, the pain came right back again."

" You just need to quit feeling sorry for yourself, Ellah. and even if - God forbid- Bret does go back to Lauren, since when do you need a man to make you happy? you are beautiful, brilliant and have great friends like me."

"But-"

" But nothing. You can concentrate on your work at H.V.U . You cant let your grades fall just because some guy is giving you a hard way to go. Guys aren't everything."

" Easy for you to say. you have Jesse." but I knew, even as I said it, I wasn't being entirely fair. Ellah made it crystal clear that Jesse wasn't her only reason for living. She could be a completely successful person, with or without a man.

Even though everything Ellah had said made perfect sense, it still didn't seem like enough. It didn't stop the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach or the dull ache in my chest. 

Maybe nobody could understand what I was feeling- not even my best friend. Maybe nobody had ever loved anyone as much as I loved Bret.

Am I the only person who ever felt this way? I wondered as a new wave of fresh tears overwhelmed me. I cant be the only one. . . no, i just cant. Someone has to understand me or i'll lose my mind. I don't think I can handle being this lonely- alone.

Bret's P.O.V

'I hope she's called' I thought to myself as I dumped my bag onto the floor and threw myself onto my bed. I took out my phone from the dresser next to my bed. It read 0 missed calls.

I threw my phone onto the ground and turned around and closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep but it didn't work. I stared aimlessly across the room and my eyes landed on Abby's bed.

" I miss your body on my body baby, i cant deny it?" my mind raced through all the memories I had with her. The fact that I was practically cheating on her but she still wanted me was rather sweet and I wanted her, I'm sure of it, but I also want Lauren, I wont lie. 

How did I let it get to this point? How could I have been so stupid. I have to do this. I don't know who I want. I don't know who is meant for me. Why??? Why is this happening to me.

I just don't want to make a decision that I will deeply regret later on. I can't keep them waiting. I have to figure this out. I have to figure this out quick.

Abby is coming back soon and It's going to be so awkward . She is my girlfriend, I know but what have i honestly done. Its all my fault. I just honestly don't want to hurt anyone. I can imagine the pain that the girls are going through, and what's worse is that. . . I'm the cause of their misery.