Hearts & Rockets

Delicate

It was two weeks into Hunter's tour. Every night I read the book Hunter and I made for Sutton.

"Daddy sings and plays guitar," I showed her the picture of Hunter and flipped the page, "Daddy rides on a bus to lots of different places."

"Daddy work" She mumbled, cuddled up beside me in bed, "daddy sing."

I continued, "Daddy is working. Daddy meets lots of people. Daddy will come home to see me when he is done working." The last page was the picture we took as a family a few days before tour. Hunter read the book to Sutton a few times before he left. I think she understood, and we Face Timed almost every night. I let Sutton sleep in bed with me, and she was drifting off to sleep as I gently sang 'twinkle little star'.

The following day was quiet, so I geared up to take Sutton to yoga then the grocery store, and as we drove home, the clouds got darker and I could feel a thunderstorm in the air. Sutton loved thunderstorms, and I drew the curtains in the living room and cut up some fruit while we watched the lightning and heard the thunder rumble over the city. We decided to put a movie on and just stay cuddled as the rain pattered against the windows. I loved these quiet, cuddly days. 

While the tour continued on, Sutton and I went to Toronto for the Canadian Thanksgiving to visit with my parents and family. Later that month, Hunter Face Timed me on our anniversary, "So there's a surprise for you and it's in the house," he said, "go into my sock drawer." Baffled and laughing, I did as he said. I shuffled through his sock drawer and way at the back was a black box with a pink bow. I opened it to reveal a pretty watch with a floral leather wristband.

"Thank you Hunter!" I smiled, "It's lovely." I blew a kiss over the phone. "She seems to be doing pretty well, I think she will be super happy to see you next week." Next week was the Nashville show.

"I miss you girls so much," He blew a kiss over the phone, "I'm pretty wiped, I'll call you tomorrow. I love you so much."

"We love you too babe."

It was finally the night of the Nashville show. Sutton had been handling everything fine, but part of me was nervous. She might see Hunter, get excited then not understand why he left again. "Bring the book and I'll read it to her again." I made sure to pack it in her diaper bag. 

I packed Sutton up and Amy joined us as were drove to the Bridgestone Arena together. "Does she know?" Amy asked, I shook my head.

"She has no idea and she has no idea he's not coming back with us tonight."

"I don't know if anyone tells ya'll this, and if it's been repeated a hundred times, I'm sorry," Amy said quietly, "but you and Hunter have your crap together. It amazing to see you support each other so much and parenting on top of that. I hope I can be half the parent you are one day."

"Thank you," I smiled, "honestly I hear it mostly from my parents but I think they're just being nice. This little girl is a firecracker," I laugh as I pulled into a reserved parking spot behind the arena, "the tantrums are part of being a kid but they knock me down a few pegs once in a while." We got Sutton out of the car and we walked through the parking lot to the back entrance. I got my pass out for the security guard and he let us in. I found Hunter's dressing room and knocked on the door. He opened it and Sutton let out the biggest scream.

"DADDDDDYYYYY!" She stretched her arms out, wiggling out of mine to climb into his, almost in tears, Hunter hugged us both. 

"We missed you," I said in his embrace, "I'm so happy to see you." We stood there in the doorway for a few moments, and Hunter carried Sutton over so we could all sit on the couch. "I didn't realize how hard this was going to be," I said, taking out a juice box and snack for Sutton, Hunter's eyes looked a little concerned, "don't get me wrong, everything is fine, I just miss you. I feel like all I do is talk to her and she's probably bored with me." Hunter shook his head laughing.

"She loves you," he kissed my cheek, "how's everything been?"

"Honestly, fine," I smiled, "she has been going to yoga group a few times a week, we went to Toronto for thanksgiving. I'm thinking of starting potty training, unless you wanted to take part in that..."

"That's alright if you want to get cracking on it," Hunter put a hand on my knee, "How's Steph?"

"I didn't get to see her, she was busy." Hunter pursed his lips together, nodding. Amy, Sutton and I were lead by security to one of the viewing boxes to watch Hunter's performance. After his set, we went back to the dressing room, Hunter read the book to Sutton and we got ready to part ways. Amy, Sutton and I headed back to the car, as I turned the key, I heard Sutton let out a little whimper, asking for daddy.

"Sutton, baby Daddy has to go back to work," I felt tears welling in my eyes, "I'm sorry."

I pulled out of the lot and started home as she started crying, kicking and shouting for Hunter. Amy came in and helped me get her settled inside. I warmed up some milk and put it in sip cup for her and put her in my bed. I sang her a song and turned down the lights as I went to sit on the couch with Amy.

"Part of that was her being tired," I sipped my tea, "the other part was she was upset."

"It's gotta be hard on her, she doesn't fully understand. She won't remember this when she's twenty, she's gonna learn what you guys do and how hard you both work." Amy headed out, I thanked her for her help and company. I texted Hunter before I crawled into bed beside Sutton.

J: We miss you, we love you and she was so happy to see you XOX

H: I miss you both all over again. Was she okay leaving?

J: Honestly no, she cried and kicked and screamed for most of the ride home. I'll keep reading your book to her. I think she was also just cranky.

H:  Ah crap, I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I love you both.

J: It's okay we love you too.