Terminally Abstract

Chapter 13

"I don't have a voice. Today I hear that sound again." - V Singularity

I froze and glared at my figure glaring back.

"Damn it! Come out, coward!" I stood up, my knees shaking in anxiety. I had no clue how to beat this thing, but it has a connection to my thoughts. How else could it have known I thought of my father?

But I remembered saying the same thing, merely a few years ago. Is that how it could've told Arthur to...kill me? I didn't want to be a robot, I told him that, but would I rather live as one if it meant survival?

"WHY?" Its voice spoke from the air.

"I'm..not sure. I'm not sure if I want to live or not."

I bit my lip and waited for its response.

"I'M NOT SURE. I'M NOT SURE." it repeated.

I tightened my face, squinting in pain. I'm not sure of anything. Tears welled in my sockets.

"I'M NOT SURE OF ANYTHING. KILL ME, KILL ME, KILL ME!"

I raised my head and screamed. I wanted it to shut up! Shut up! You can't tell me what to do! I want to live!

"I WONDER HOW'D IT FEEL TO JUMP. MICHAEL, DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT. I'M TIRED. TIRED. TIRED. I WANT TO LEAVE."

The past sayings haunted my every breath. I tried not to think about this, for Arthur's sake. I didn't want to think about this, yet why do I feel the same as before? I clenched my eyelids.

"I WANNA DIE. DIE. DIE."

My eyes widened in surprise. I was on my knees once more, feeling the same as when I wanted to jump. I thought I was over that, but the old years released my tears.

The wooden floorboards stood underneath me, and I was on top of the railing. My arms were open wide, waiting for the fog's embrace. It all..felt so real. That night, was when my mother got her implant; after years of postponing the surgery. The military barged in through the doors and windows in 7th grade. They were armed with bigger chip implants, most likely taking over 70% of their mind. They pressed her to the floor, strapped her, and took her away with her kicking and screaming for her child. That was the only sign in 4 years that she still loved me, that those years I'd been wrong; that instead, her neglect was only for the safety of us both from my father. But I'd be right after the surgery, she wouldn't love me anymore. For that was her last emotion she had it seemed. We could've ran. We could've made it. We could've. She came home after 3 nights to an empty house, while her kid was outside preparing for icy cold water.

I didn't want to end my life like hers, I'd rather do it myself.

I was starting to lose my balance, the clouds reaching toward me.

"FADING. FADING IN THE FOG. REMEMBER, REMEMBER ME IN TIME." the voice cackled. It seemed to enjoy the pain I was feeling.

But who was the person who said,"Save my baby."? That couldn't have been my mother, she wouldn't even visit me in the hospital. Would she?

Could my mother still love me?

I caught my balance, flailing my arms about. I began to think. Why hadn't I jumped that night?

If I can't live for someone else, I'll live for myself. I am here for a reason, I just have to prove it to myself. I have something here, I just have to show it to everyone else. I remembered.

I fell backwards onto the bridge, knocking the air from my diaphragm, then breathed heavily. I snapped back to the mirror realm.

"PROVE IT! PROVE IT TO MYSELF!"

Myself? I thought. Myself. Could that thing be..me?

"ME, ME, ME, ME, ME." The voice morphed into a being once more, again as my reflection. Its voice cracked as if it were crying as well.

"You're...me?"

It cried out in despair and pleaded,"ME, ME, ME!"

Those years I've neglected from myself, my feelings; emotions that were pure and strong, were loomed over by a ignorant, numbing cold this whole time. They were all here? Trapped behind this mirror?

"How can I get you out?"

"ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz." it hissed. "YOU."

"I'm here! I'm right here!"

"BRACELET."

I looked to my wrist, barely aware it was still there. My mom...accepted this gift, from me. Because it was my work, me. My achievements make me up, and so do my tough times. Everything makes me up, and people can play a part in it as well, if I let them. To accept my work, myself.

"YOU!"

"Me! I am me! I'm going to show the world my art, what I'm made of! I'm going to show them this chip implant law is wrong! If no one is going to do it, I'll do it myself! I've found my purpose. Arthur was right."

"I'm ready to wake up now."

As I said that, a chunk of the sky vanished.