The Underground Cutlery Cults: Civil War

Chapter One- His eyes are the ones of forks

Of course he had to wake up to the Master Bedroom, where his four poster bed awaited. And of course he had to wake up with Addictus looming over him.

"Wake the fork up, M." the old man grinned a toothless grin "We've got work to do."

M groaned softly. "Why? Why did I have to be elected? I thought no one liked me. What the fooorkkk??" He rolled over onto his right shoulder.

Addictus rolled his eyes at M's exaggerated display of laziness as he grab the four-thousand- year old child and dragged him out of bed. "It's not my fault you are supposedly the wisest person here."

"Yes it is Addictus. You were the one who suggested I ran in the first place.The only reason I wanted to run was because the leader's robes are so comfortable." Addictus then notices that M was indeed wearing them as Pjs.

Silence was all that came from Addictus. As moments ticked by Addictus chuckled evilly, and looking at M he spoke sweetly, "If you don't get dressed and go to your work I am going to parade around the castle dressed as SpongeBob shouting out about how you love unicorns and tiaras."

M stayed silent for a few moments, as if he were throwing away the rest of his sanity. "Alright, alright, I'm getting up." He grumbled and sat up.

"What a great choice!"Addictus shouted, and gesturing towards the large wardrobes he added, "Now get the hell dressed your majesty!"

M struggled out of his bed and glared down at Addictus. He ambled to the master bathroom to get dressed.

As Addictus watched M go to the humongous bathroom to get dressed he studied the interior of the dark and fork like room. The grey stone arches seemed to reach for the sky, collaborating with the fork pattern of the carpet and wallpaper.

M, after a brief shower and other rituals of cleaning that humans do, walked from his bathroom, wearing the same patterned robes he was wearing earlier. He wore a long, fork-patterned cloak that flew back as he walked. The color of the cloak itself was a light crimson color that clashed somewhat with his pallid skin, icy blue eyes and black hair.

Addictus dully watched M act like a fashion queen in front of a large mirror. "Can we hurry up and eat breakfast?" He grumbled. "The foods might have ran away already."

M sassily glared at Addictus, his handsome profile reflecting in the mirror as he walked into its frame. "The food's not gonna run away for fork. They always save stuff for us, so I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of it."

The old man sighed as he rolled his eyes. "I'm an old man that has hunger strikes, and that means I get hungry and cranky. Deal with it." Addictus then fabulously twirled around and stomped out the room.

M rolled his eyes as well and glanced at his reflection. He wondered to himself if he should follow Addictus, or just try to control the black, hairy mess that was his hair. It stuck up all over, and ran down to his elbows when wet and brushed correctly. At that moment, it was drying and curling up so it looked like it was simply defying gravity. He shrugged and wandered back over to bed. Yes, he'd use this time to take a nap. Perfect. He flopped down and snuggled his long body back into the still-warm sheets.

But M didn't notice the shadows creeping creepily up behind his dozing figure. The shadow lifted an old wrinkly hand that looked almost dead, and raising it sky high it power slapped the sleeping king on the head.

M jolted awake and looked up at the terrifying hand. "Oh, COME ON! That's the third time this week!" He scowled over at Addictus.

"I fooled you once, shame on me. I fooled you twice shame on you. BUT, I fooled you forking thrice, shame on you, your family, and your cow!" Addictus cackled while pointing at M.

M glared at Addictus through his tangle of dark hair. "I don't own a cow you moron." The point clearly didn't reach M.

Addictus was silent for a few moments. "...Well you sure eat like one."

M sighed and pulled the sheets back up over his head. "Yeah, well, so do you. Better go before you get cranky, old man."

"Potatoes!" Hadley jumped in the room and screamed.

Addictus grabbed M. "Don't worry your majesty! I'll save you from the horrible potatoes!"

"Wut." Hadley stood confused. "Addi, it's just me, Hadley, ya know... A human?"

M sighed and glared at the pair. "Can you guys just leave me be? And get your filthy mitts off me!"

"No!" Addictus shouted dramatically, "I don't believe it! Flee M, fleeeeee!" He then picked up M into a princess carry and threw him out the large opened window. A long, girly scream broke forth from the falling king until he couldn't be heard any more.

"Good, he's safe now, and I finally made sure that he can't go back to bed." Addictus cheered inwardly to himself over his triumph.

"He'll be dead before he hits the ground, Addi!" Hadley screamed.

Addictus shrugged, not allowing Hadley to rain on his parade of triumph. He cackled evilly like a witch as he suddenly grew forth bat wings and flew off into the hallway. He was the captain now.

M suddenly POOFs in front of Addictus, fuming and red faced.

"You're too late M!" Addictus cried, his fuzzy white hair looking like it was shock by electricity. "I shall rule the whole of forkdom and the world!"

M frowned deeply. "This is why you're not the leader. Put those goddamn wings away."

"No I am darkness itself ."Addictus mumbled in a low voice. "I am Batman."

"No you're a one hundred seventy-five year old man that just threw his leader out a window. I can sue and execute you because that's TREASON." M growled at him, the redness in his face fading.

Hadley slowly backed out the door. "Haaa byee Addi, have fun dyinnngg..." Hadley laughed,

"Oh no! You're going to sue me!" Addictus cried out loud, faux tears dripping down his face. "I'm too young to be sued!"

M didn't look impressed. "Don't pull that fork with me." He reached out and grabbed the joint of his left wing and started dragging him down the long hallway.

Addictus stared at dat ass .He den stared harder at day asss.. Ooohh yeaaaaahhhhh~ ( ) )

M ignored him and continued dragging him to the cafeteria.

"When will this end." Addictus whined as HE was dragged off to eat breakfast.

M plopped him down into a chair and sat down across from him, looking irritated.

And so they finally at their forking breakfast.

(We all got lazy sorry)