A Collection of Short Stories

Sidney

    Hi. My name is Sydney. I'm probably not gonna be alive much longer, so I figured I'd write down my story. Last week I was sitting on the teacher's desk and had coffee in me. As usual. I was sitting there all morning, while the teacher (I think his name is Mr. Brown) was teaching the kids. Like every morning, I was watching my two favorite kids- Jamie and Jamie. See, that's the cool part of being a mug- you can watch as many people as you want and no one says you're a stalker. The only problem is that when next year rolls around, you usually have to find tow new favorites. That's why I usually choose the not-so bright kids as my favorites- they sometimes get held back. So anyway, the morning was going perfectly normally- I was almost empty, and half-asleep too- but then something completely unexpected happened. Mr. Brown threw me in the trash! Me! His faithful coffee mug! Me! The one who didn't even complain when he put tea in me that one time! And this was his way of saying thank you?
I heard him say, "Oops! Oh, well. I'll get another on for my birthday."
"You're just going to replace me?" I wanted to scream. "I thought we were friends!"
But of course I couldn't. 'Cause I'm a mug. And mugs don't have mouths. Which means they can't talk. Oh, the frustration! So that's how I found out my best friend was a backstabbing, false friend. And I know what you're going to say now. Oh, come on. You're overreacting. You weren't even certain if you knew the guy's name. But I'll tell you one thing: Our friendship came from the heart, and our names didn't matter. Oh god, I think I'm crying now. I swore to myself I wouldn't but I guess you can't always keep your promises. So anyway, I was sitting in the trash all day long, looking at the ceiling. Until maybe noon, when some kid threw a banana peel on top of me. At first it smelled good- I do like bananas- but by the end of the day it just smelled gross. I was just thinking it was never going to end, when suddenly I was being picked up be some kid again. This was my chance! I had to get the kids attention. What could I do? I did the only thing I could think of- I tried to use the force to contact the kid. Needless to say, it didn't work. But what would you have done in my situation? I guess I'll just have to face the facts- there's nothing I could have done. As a mug, I was powerless. So I just let the kid throw me in the dumpster. With the banana peel. And a bunch of other things I don't want to think about. I'd like to tell you I thought some really brave thoughts about life and death while I was in the dumpster, but I can't. Because to tell the truth, pretty much all I thought was: Ew. Gross. I'm too young to die! And also: TGIF. Because the dumpster always gets emptied of Friday's, fight? I didn't have to wait too long before I heard the rumbling and the beep-beep-beep of the garbage truck. I didn't know whether to be scared or excited. But as the dumpster was picked up with the claw on the side of the truck, I made up my mind. I was going with scared.
That's my story. I don't know what will happen next. All I know is I'm sitting in a garbage truck with an old teddy bear who was kind enough to write this down for me. Pray for us, my friends. And know we didn't die in vain. We figured out the force thing. It turns out, it only words with things that can't talk. I guess that means it might work on a mute human- or maybe not. I guess we'll never find out.