Lies and Hope (Zen x Pregnant! Reader)

Chapter 2: Worry

I hold the positive test in my hand.

Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit! What an I supposed to do with this?! Zen and I don't have the financial stability for a baby! We have only been dating for two years as well! TWO YEARS!! What if, at some given point, he decides that its all too much for him and we don't make it through this! I mean I love him more than words can express and I know he loves me too, but a baby is a huge thing. Especially this early in a relationship. We don't have the money, we're not even that far in a relationship for this to have happened, and with how much he works, how do I even tell him? This is too much, too fast. I need to sit down and think about this rationally.

I quickly hide the pregnancy test and and try to calm my shaky nerves. I know what I need. Tea. I'll make come tea, calm down, try to find a way to keep this relationship together and how to tell Zen. God like all that will happen. One thing at a time. Breathe in. Breathe out. I will be fine. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I repeat the breathing process the whole time I was making the tea, and miraculously, it helped somewhat. Maybe I just need to relax on the couch, drink my tea, and watch some lighthearted cartoons. Yeah. That. That's what I'll do.

Just when it starts to work, and my heartbeat and breathing was getting back to normal I have a thought. A thought that breaks me down and ruins what progress I've made in calming down. What if Zen doesn't even want kids? That thought is all it takes to make me cry, and I hate crying. If he doesn't want kids, where will I be? What if, when I tell him, he tells me to leave? What if he doesn't love me as much as I think he does, and this will be the last straw in our relationship? The one that ends it all.

All these what if's just make me more upset, and the tears come down faster and faster. Then, as if today hasn't been bad enough, I get a call from Zen. Out of habit I immediately answer. I hate today in its entirety. Of course since I was just balling my eyes out, he notices right away that something is wrong.

"Babe! Whats wrong? Are you okay?!" He says with a concerned voice that just makes me cry harder. I don't cry often, but when I do its hard to stop and hearing him worried and more stressed upsets me even more. I don't even attempt to hide my sobs. It was a lost cause anyways.

"(Y/n)! Oh did something happen?! Are you hurt?! Hang on babe I'm on my way home right now!" He says.

"N-no Zen. Don-n't you have w-w-work?" I stutter with sobs in between my words.

"You're way more important than my job. I heard that you got sick at breakfast, do you have the flu?" He asks worried.

"I-I don't kn-kn-know!" Actually I do know, but he can't know that yet.

"Okay well just hang on for a few minutes. I'm almost home. Okay?" He says, trying to reassure me.

"O-o-okay." I murmur.

"Okay, I'm going to have to hang up. Will you be okay?" Zen asks me.

"Y-yes. Hurry." I say. I feel bad for being selfish like this and worrying him, but at the same I just really don't want to be alone right now.

"Of course sweetie. I'm about two minutes away. I will see you in a minute. Muah." He sends me his signature hang up kiss before hanging up. He was most likely driving. Oh man he could've gotten in a car crash because of me. I just curl up on the couch and burrow under the blanket I have on me. Ugh I'm pathetic.

A few minutes later I hear the front door of our apartment open. I borrow even further under the blanket, and put my hand over my mouth in attempts to hide myself.

"(Y/n)! Where are you babe?! Are you okay?!" Zen calls. I hear the door close and footsteps coming closer to me. Then they stop right in front of me. I feel him lightly start pulling the blanket off of me, before I forcefully pull it back down.

"Babe, come on~" He coos. "I know you're there~" he tries to pull it off again, and this time I don't stop him. He pulls the blanket off of my head and sees me holding my sobs in, tears rushing down my face.

"Awww, (Y/n). Come here babe." He says in a gentle voice, holding his arms out for a hug. I tackle him to the ground and hug him as hard as I can, hiding my face in the crook of his neck.

"Can you tell me what happened?" He asks. I just shake my head.

"I can't help if I don't know whats wrong can I?" He says. I guess he's right about that, but I can't tell him the truth. At least not until he is done filming this movie, he doesn't need more on his plate.

"I d-don't wan-wanna." I whisper into his neck, hoping to buy me some time to come up with a convincing lie. "Its per-ersonal."

"Personal huh?" I nod at this. "Well then I guess this is a conversation for the bed with hot chocolate. Does that sound nice?" He asks. That sounds perfect actually. I would love nothing more right now than to just cuddle with him in bed, watch a movie, drink some hot chocolate, and forget all my worries. Also, it buys me more time. I nod again, agreeing with his idea.

"Okay, up we go." He says, standing up with me still glued to him. He chuckles a bit. "(Y/n) dear~ I can't exactly walk like this." Not really wanting to move I just wrap my legs around his waist, with my head still buried in his neck. He slowly walks me to our bedroom, and sets me down on the bed. He starts walking out to the kitchen, but he stops at the doorway and turns around to look at me.

"I am going to make some hot chocolate, but when I come back I want to hear what all this is about okay?" He says raising his eyebrows. I just nod and hide under the blankets again.

Fuck.

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So hey! Another chapter finally! Thank you for reading, and if there is anything I can do better comment and I will work on it!

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