The Star that never Shone

Chapter VI

STILES

These past couple of days me and Lydia have been really close. I didn't know that I'd have a such a good friend with a good heart and that kind of annoys me. How can she see good in everything?

I can't stop thinking about her, I can't do anything to stop thinking about her, I've tried, trust me but I never make it. It's like, she's stuck there, like she trapped herself inside my mind.

I rush down the stairs to have breakfast with my "lovely" family and sit where I used to sit all the time at every meal. We sat quietly on a Saturday morning as we ate our first meal of the day together. My dad as usual was on his phone as my mom kept eating with taking her eyes off my dad. I don't know how she can do it, how can she be with someone that hurts her so much to the point she doesn't even know the meaning of happiness?

"Is anybody going to talk or we're just going to eat silently, prertending nobody in this table exists?" I asked, trying to eat my food. "You want to talk?"My dad put his phone down for once in a lifetime. I nodded, challenging him. I knew that the thing he was about to say wasn't going to make me happy. But then again, nothing ever does anyway. "What happened with Kate? How are things going between you two?"My mom asked, trying to get my dad to not talk. "We're not together anymore." I said, not caring about their stares. I honestly and truly do not know how they could've liked her, well except Sarah. I, myself, don't even know how I dated her in the first place.

"Why?" My mom asked. I shrugged. "She's a bitch, that's all."My mom gasped. I rolled my eyes without even regrettinhg what had said. Even though my sister had a small smile on her face, she still did not dare to look at me. I felt bad obviously, knowing that she had a brother that she couldn't even look at without replaying that moment on her mind over and over again. But I'm going to give her some time though, maybe she'll learn to deal with the fact that things like this happen. Maybe one day she'll look at me as her brother and not just a kid that lived at her house whom tried to kill himself for a reason that she couldn't understand.

"I'm going out. Don't expect me back until late." I walked out of the house and jumped on my jeep on my way to get Lydia. We've been hanging out a lot together lately, I like her presence but honestly, today was one of those days that everything was just coming back to me. Since the moment I starting about killing myself until the moment I actually tried it. Everything was just coming back to me and I don't know why. I needed to smoke really back, so I just pulled out a cigarette and started smoking just like I used to do every day. I needed to see her. She's the ony person that can get my mind off of this dark thoughts surrounding me. At least, since I met her.

"Hey." She smiled at me as she jumped on the jeep. She had no make up on, I don't even think she ever puts make up on. I like that about her too. Lydia furrowed her brows all of the sudden making me confused. She pulled my anti-anxiety stick out of my mouth and looked at it, quickly looking back at me. "I told you that you should quit smoking." She told me for the 100th time. "I told you wasn't doing it." I shrugged. "You're going to die young if you keep doing that." I rolled my eyes. "Everybody is going to die anyways. Plus, I wasn't even supposed to be here right now, sitting with you right at this moment. I was supposed to me six feet under the ground by now." I took back my cigarette and smoked once more before throwing it out of the window.

"Well, if you're supposed to be dead, you wouldn't be here by now. If you were actually supposed to be dead then why aren't you?" She asked me. I didn't even know what to say and when I was going to finally open my mouth to say something, she beats me to it. "Because you're not meant to be dead, okay? You're not, so stop saying those things!" And she climbed out the car with teary eyes. Ugh, I hate seeing her this way. Actually, this is my very first time that I have ever seen her like this, she's always so happy that I never thought that she ever cried in her life. I was stupid enough to make myself believe that.