conceal | ryden

[06]

brendon

it was happening. i had been dreaming about this for what seems like forever, or three years four months, as jon would tell me. my cheeks hurt from smiling but i was so happy i could have died right now and nothing would matter.  i was talking to ryan tomorrow.

i lay back on my bed, hearing a spring squeak faintly. i was far too warm to sleep, and my mind drifted to my favourite topic; ryan ross. he was a lot different than i thought he would be, a bit more shy, but a whole lot more handsome up close. he bit his lip a lot and liked to walk shoulder to shoulder with people. his closest friend was pete, and he was unorganised, from the state of his car.
i sound like a girl, but is that even a bad thing? i like him, and i'll think what i want in the privacy of my room.
my phone began to buzz from somewhere on my floor, and i rooted around for a few minutes before locating it in the pocket of my jeans. around a hundred messages from the group chat, and none from ryan. that made me feel worse than it should. after brushing it off, i opened snapchat quickly and read through the messages. 

you should message ryan, spencer suggested.

and so i did.

to : ry👑
how are u feeling?
sent at 01:23

from : ry👑
a lot better, thank u so much. thanks for not like- rejecting me or anything.
received at 01:24

from : ry👑
:))))) also- did pete tell u where my locker is?
received at 01:25

we continued to message back and forth, and with every message i smiled a little bit harder. he was so sweet and it melted my heart.

after a while, he stopped replying. i figured he had fallen asleep and got ready to sleep myself, putting my phone on charge after a few minutes.

the next morning, ryan seemed different. he was hunched over slightly, expression blank. pete had an arm around his waist instead of his shoulders, and was carrying ryan's bag for him.

to : dal
do u know what's up w ryan?
sent at 09:02

dallon replied a few minutes later, and i could see him from across the busy corridor with jon and spencer.

from : dal
not sure - pete said ryan hurt himself in the game yesterday, and that's all ik
received at 09:05

the bell for first period rang then, and i joined patrick to go to our first period. i couldn't concentrate.

the only topic on my mind was ryan. he looked hurt; his eyes looked vaguely glazed and he was gripping pete almost as a lifeline.
my heart ached for him.
i had to talk to him.

at lunch, dallon grabbed my arm and half dragged me over to pete and ryan. ryan was sat at a picnic bench, water bottle in his hands and his bag on the table. pete greeted us and resumed his task of pushing a sandwich into ryan's free hand, but he would just push it away.

"i can't eat it pete, i feel sick," ryan stated quietly, fidgeting with the lid of the water bottle. he looked up then, realising both dallon and i were stood in front of him.
"hey dallon, brendon."
ryan smiled when he said my name, and lifted his head further towards us. pete set the sandwich down and pulled dallon away so that we could get some privacy, and for that i was grateful.

i sat down next to him. the bags underneath his eyes were pronounced and purple, his hair flopping across his forehead, and he wore glasses. he looked so sad yet still beautiful. i hated even the idea of him feeling sad.

i slid an arm around his waist, edging closer to let him fall into me. he did so, sighing when he felt my body press firmly against his own. pressing a kiss to his temple, i rested our foreheads together and his eyes fluttered shut.

"i'm not going to ask what's wrong, but if you feel like getting it off your chest, i'm always here to listen to you."

his mouth curved upwards in gratitude. i missed his smile, and i knew that all this couldn't possibly have been caused simply by getting hurt yesterday in the football game.