Lost in guilt

Three

I scream and I kind of tripped but caught my balance and I watched him walk inside. Oh shit. I was done for. Why the hell did i have to do that? I was lost in thought and I scampered against the wall shielding my face with my arm and I closed my eyes. He walked up to me and put his arm on the other side of me and glared at me.

"What did I just tell you, Eren?" He asked, I felt really scared now. He blocked my way of getting out and I opened one of my eyes to see. I looked at the way he looked at me. It didn't look too bad, but it did appear a little alarming to me. I close my eye again and I answer him.

"Not to laugh like that again" I said hiding in fear. He got closer to me and i took my arm off as I saw what he was doing. He was trapping me. He smirked and kept me cornered. He also glared at me like he was going to kill me, but that smile was there again. Like it was a sign that I was okay.

"You're a little rebel, Jeager" He said and lifted me up by the collar. He looked me in the eye as the smirk disappeared. "Is it funny now?" He said holding me in the air and staring at me like he was going to beat me up. "Eren, you think this is funny?" He asked. I shook my head in pure terror. He set my down gently and then smirked again.

"Watch it, Eren. I'm not afraid to kill you" He said as he turned and slowly walked up the stairs. I watched his hips moved from side to side. I quickly looked away as he looked back at me. I dont like him. But why was I staring? I just forgot that and I pressed my index and my thumb to the middle of my eyebrows and I try to think. I take it off then I decided to go upstairs. I ran up them and I watch Jean in his room crying again and staring at the picture of Marco. I really did feel bad for the poor guy.

"But I loved you. Not as a friend, but as a brother" he said as he let tears touch the glass frame. I knew he loved him more than a brother. He admitted it to me, one night when he told me Marco died. I stand at the door, and I just wait for him to notice me. I didn't take long, and his puffy red eyes met my gaze.

"Jean, you need to face the facts." I say looking at him. I thought it was very sad, but still pathetic. "Marco wants you to focus. Not on him, but everything else, so then you survive. Not just for your own sake, but for his, too." I walked away slowly and then I run into Petra.

"Oh, hey." I look at her as she greeted me so simple. I nod and then i remember from earlier about Hanji looking for her.

"Petra, you should go looking for Han-" she stopped me and pinned me against the wall. her arm was pressed against my throat.

"You bastard. You attention seeking bastard. I know you like him. I know you're trying to steal him from me. Well, he's mine. Touch him again, you're dead. Hear me?" Her voice grew louder and her arm pressed on my neck harder. I tried to understand what she meant.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask looking at her. "He for one, was never yours. and I doubt he ever will be. Second, I don't like him" I said glaring at you and clenching my jaw as I pry off her arm. She looked at me like I had just dumped her.

"Well does he at least talk about me?" she asked wide eyed. I shake my head no and I push her away and I walk into Levi's room without knocking. I slam it behind me and i cross my arms.

"So, Petra is bugging me about you once again and I'm sick of it. You need to get that girl in order. Or i will kill her." I said glaring at Levi.

He looked at me confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. I roll my eyes and sigh.

"She has a crush on you, Corpral." I said leaning against the door so she wont get in. "Please tell me what you think about her, so I can get that bitch to leave me alone. She thinks I like you because we have been talking a lot more." He looks at me rather confused, and I paste a frown on my face.

"Eren, I don't like her. Nor will i ever. Please tell her that. But you need to calm down. Stop getting pissed off so easily" he said sitting on the bed. He sounded like he really cared about the situation i was in. He really looked interested, too. Well I guess part of that was shock of me barging in. I nod, and I take a deep breath.

"Sorry, sir. I was kind of sick with putting up with all the things she says about you and stuff." I said rolling my eyes again as i slowly open the door. "I just really dont get girls like that." He nodded and got up and nodded his head.

"I understand, and it's ok. No need for sorries." He said as he opened the door wider. "Now, please give me some time to myself." He held it open as i nodded and exited. I look over at Petra as he shuts the door. I could tell she was listening in. She looked like she was about to cry. I roll my eyes and looked at her.

"He doesn't like you. Nor will he ever." I said crossing my arms. She covers her mouth and runs away crying. I laugh as i watch her slam her door. I felt pretty heartless there. But you gotta understand, it annoyed me to hell and back. He was all she'd ever talk about. I walked over to Jean's room before I went downstairs, and I saw him not crying anymore. He looked back at me and smiled.

"Thanks, Jaeger. I needed that a lot" He admitted, giving me a thumbs up as in respect, as I nodded and made my way downstairs and back to my room. I sit on my bed and I look at the key around my neck. I pulled it out and I looked at it again. I smile and I think of my father. He was a good man. I don't remember all that well if he lived a very long life or not, but it was pretty obvious he survived the attack, on account that he was beyond the territory for work.

I kept thinking about the past, lying back and starting to doze off. I took off my gear and shoes, and I gently placed them beside the bed as I drifted off into a deep sleep.

I started trying to find my way through blackness, but I couldn't. I soon step over and i sink a bit and I see a square light up with a white led light. I step both feet on, and it carries me down to a white room, and I keep running trying to find an exit. I hit a wall and I fall, but I am lifted by a large hand that I fell into as I fell, and I feel the pressure of me being lifted as I see the red table again. I was then life size again, and I see levi, and he opens the door to the small room. I walk down, and he shuts it and locks it with me trapped inside. Another Levi covers my mouth, and lifts me down to the bottom and the room appeared much larger. There was metal bars, with steel handcuffs, and a small steel bed in the corner. He shoved me in, not even rememberig him opening the metal door. He walks in and slams it, and he handcuffs me to the bed. He then slowly unbuttons his shirt and I felt horrified already.

I sat up in bed and I breathe heavy. I wiped sweat off my forehead, and I get up and I put on my gear and my boots again. I walk upstairs and I see everyone going outside. I follow, and I see Levi on his horse, ordering everyone to care for their horses while he was gone. I started to walk over, and he stops me.

"Eren", he said, looking me in the eye. I gulp and turn around, stil a little worried i'm in a dream.

"Y-yes sir?" I answer politely. He pats a seat behind him and I am worried that I knew what he was about to say to me. I thought I knew what he was about to say. Apparently I was right and I hated that so much.

"Hop on, we're going for a ride." He said holding a hand out to help me on his horse.