Back For You | Alternate Ending

Chilled

I sit alone in my flat in Ireland that I'm renting for the next month. Eleanor was with her parents for a while and Bob and Maura wanted me to be close to them. I've been here for about two weeks now with Cora. The first week after she was born I stayed with Eleanor. But, a girl can't live with her best friend forever, right? That's what I keep telling myself. Things will get better and I have to keep living; even with a three week old. Harry still hasn't said another word to me, or us rather. I missed him, so much. I believe Cora knows he should be around. He should be here supporting me. I'm doing this alone. Not completely, but almost alone. Maura comes over during the day so I can get a little rest. The problem: I can't sleep with Cora crying. This flats too small. I need Harry, Cora needs Harry. This raising the baby part has been harder than the actual labor.

I hear a scream from across the room that wakes me up. I roll over and look at my alarm clock. 2:30 AM. I sigh deeply and stand up, making my way to the bassinet. "Shh baby...." I say as I pick her up. "We just laid down an hour ago. "It's okay....hungry?" I sit in the bed and grab the nursing pillow. I try to get her settled but I just can't. She hasn't been eating right lately. Even with a bottle. "C'mon, you gotta drink." I whisper and she just starts screaming again. My poor neighbors. I pull her into my chest with a blanket over my shoulder... "Cora, baby...." I shake my head and a tear rolls down my face. I continue to let the tears fall as she does. "C'mon." I stand up and grab my jacket. "Let's go to Grandma." I look across, three houses down. The lights were all off and I started to feel extremely guilty. I needed sleep, she needed to eat. I couldn't do this alone. I slip my shoes on and as soon as I walk out the door she's hushed by the quiet rain. Once I get there, I knock slightly on the door. "Good job baby, stay quiet...." I say just as Maura opens the door.

"Madi, dear, what are you doing? It's practically three! It's cold and rainy, get in here." She pulls me in by the elbow. "What's wrong? How's Cora-bell?" I sit down and shake my head. I didn't want to cry again.

"She won't eat, she won't sleep. She. Won't. Stop. Screaming." I say and look down just as her face crumbles, letting out a loud cry again. A few seconds later, Bobby comes down the steps in a huff.

"What the hell is going on?" He says, tired and grumpy. He's just like Niall when you wake him up. Bitter. "I'm sorry." He says when the two of us look at him. He knows I've had troubles with Cora. I've been over here three times this week already. I don't know what I'd do without the two of them.

"Are you still breastfeeding?" She asks and sits next to me.

"I'm trying." I say and wipe my face. "I want to, for the health benefits you know. Like for her and I. She won't latch or drink or anything. She won't eat. Even from the bottle. I've tried formula, but no. She won't drink that either. I'm lucking to get a quarter of a bottle in her before she throws a fit." I wave my hand around while I speak. "I'm sorry I'm always here." I say as another tear rolls down my face.

"Let me see her..." Maura takes her. She slowly becomes calm again. "You left some milk in the fridge when you were here for lunch, can you bring it here?" She says and I stand up, making my way to the kitchen. I pull it out and begin to stick it in the microwave. "No No, just bring it here." I look at her, confused, and listen. "Thank you honey." She says as I hand her the bottle. She shakes it up a bit and puts it to Cora's mouth. She soon grabs on and begins to drink. "She doesn't like her milk warm honey. We had the same problem with Greg when he was born. He liked his milk room temperature." She looks down at Cora. "And you like it chilled huh?" She smiles as Cora closes her eyes. "Madi you go up to the spare bedroom and get some sleep; I'll take care of her."

"Are you sure?" I ask as I sit up, sighing.

"Of course, you're exhausted. You need rest too." She says with a tired smile and I follow Bob up the steps.

"Thank you." I say to Maura, before I enter the room. The big empty bed looks so inviting right now. I was tired and I had time to sleep. I fell onto the bed, and before even getting under the covers, I was asleep.

I roll over to light pouring into the window. I stand up slowly and walk down the steps. "Good afternoon, sleepy head." Bobby says from the couch. "Yep, it's two in the afternoon." He held Cora against his chest as I reached for her. She was all smiles this morning. "She didn't sleep very well, but better than before I'm assuming."

"Thank you so much." I say to him. "I'd be lost without the two of you." I smile. "I'm going to get home and clean up a bit, while she's happy. "Thanks again." I stand up and head towards the door. As I walk, I hold her and look down to her. "You know I love you so much Cora, even when you cry for hours." I kiss her forehead. "We might not have daddy here, but I love you twice as much as he does." I walk in to what sounds like someone in my house. "Hello?"

"Oh, It's about time you woke up." Maura said from the laundry room. "I've just been cleaning. I did all your laundry, organized the icebox, cleaned up her room, and took out the diaper genie. I hope I'm not one of those annoying mothers."

"No No! It's a blessing!" I lay Cora down by a toy to distract her. " I know I wouldn't be able to do this without you." I hug her. "We'd be buried in junk by the time I move out of here." I slightly chuckle.

"Have you talked to Eleanor today?" She asks. "I think she planned something out with you and the guys.

"No, what is it?" I ask again.

"You and Cora are picking the guys up at the airport, with Danielle and Eleanor. She thinks that once Harry sees Cora that he won't be able to resist her. It's just an idea. I think you should do it." She says and she unloads the dishwasher. "Who could resist Lil' Cora Bell?" She says with a smile and I sit next to my baby. "Oh, and Cora will probably need a bottle soon. You also should pump. If she likes her milk cold, pump it and keep it in the refrigerator. You'll still get the benefits." She says and comes and sits next to me. "I'm always here to help Madi."