Only One I Call Home

Chapter 15 - "You can love someone so much...but you can never..."

Chapter 15

“You can love someone so much…but you can never love people as much as you can miss them.”

-       John Green

“What about Jake?” Tully asked. “I mean he’s not my favourite guy in the world but you can’t just cheat on him.”

I’d just told her about my two-day sleepover with Trey and as happy as she was, she couldn’t help but to point out the bad points.

I sighed and shrugged. “It’s not like I actually have feelings for him.”

She bit her lip. “But do you really want to give everything to Trey, again?”

I frowned and shook my head. “What is with you? You have been waiting for this to happen ever since he showed up here and now all of a sudden you want me to back away?”

She smiled small and nodded. “No you’re right. Go for it. But don’t leave Jake in the lurch, you know?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m going over there now.”

She grabbed my hand as I stood up. “Um, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What now?” I groaned.

She squeezed her eyes shut and ran a hand through her hair. “It’s Adrian.”

I sat down. “What’s wrong?”

She shrugged. “You know he’s really into you. He’s not joking when he talks about it. He really likes you.”

“What’s your point?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”

I dropped her hand and shook my head. “Adrian is a great friend. But I’m not in love with him, Tully. I don’t want to hurt him but surely he knows he doesn’t really have a chance with me. We’re not really matched together.”

She sighed heavily. “Fine, fine I’m sorry.”

I smiled. “Be happy for me. Trey and I are finally getting back on track.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek when I leant down to hug her. “Well, good luck.”

I nodded and ran out the door.

I showed up on Jake’s doorstep with my hair a mess and the smell of smoke reeking off me. I had realised how bad I would feel dumping him and without a reason, I had to create my own. I smiled small at him and crossed my arms over my chest. He knew I only smoked when I got stressed; he was probably the only one who knew that I smoked at all.

“Are you okay?” He asked me with a small frown.

I bit my lip and shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

He sighed. “Ah, do you want to come in?”

I shook my head and looked at my feet. “Jake…I don’t want to do this anymore. I mean, it’s been fun but I just…I’m over it?”

“Over what?” He whispered.

I looked up at him and shrugged. “Being tied down and having to go on dates. It’s not me and it never has been. I should have been more honest with you from the start. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

He grabbed one of my hands and smiled small. “I hope we can still be friends, Mads. I mean that’s all we ever were really…” He laughed. “Friends.”

I frowned for a second before laughing with him. “You’re not upset?”

He shrugged and leant against the doorframe. “We knew this wasn’t going anywhere. You’re right, it was fun but we’re not really soul mates are we? Let’s be honest. We used each other for the same reasons and in the end we became friends.”