Only One I Call Home

Chapter 19 - "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."

"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.”

-       Oscar Wilde

Chapter 19

I week later and I was feeling slightly better about the way things were going. I still wasn’t okay but I felt like that was a silly thing to wish for. I wasn’t ever going to be okay again. Trey was avoiding me; he didn’t even show up to half of the math classes because we were supposed to be working together. In literature we were working on poems and I was putting all of my focus into that, I wanted to get it right.

I was almost ready to talk to him though; it had got to the point where I wanted nothing more than just to hug him. But I wasn’t ready to get back to the commitment again. Tully had advised me to get over it but she didn’t really know how it was for me, she didn’t completely understand.

The fact was no one really new who I was, not even Trey anymore. He knew Laurel, not Madison. And that sort of frightened me more than I would ever let on. I needed him though, but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to need anyone. I wanted to be able to cope with everything on my own and I couldn’t. I really couldn’t. I just needed things to be okay with everything again, I needed normal and that wasn’t going to happen.

“I have an idea.” Tully smiled. “Why don’t you take a weekend away? I’ll go with you if you want? It might be good for you.”

I sighed heavily and shrugged. “Maybe.”

She patted my back. “Just think about it.”

So I did. I went into my little caravan and I thought about it for a long time. I sat, with my legs crossed on my bed the only light source from a rope of fairy lights hanging on the ceiling. I was wrapped in Trey’s cardigan thinking about the time we’d spent together and then I remembered; Rob, one of my most favourite people in the world. The one person who could help me see everything clearer. I jumped up almost straight away and sprinted into the main house. Tully was walking around in a towel and when she saw me she screamed and grabbed the closest thing to her, which was only a cushion.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She gasped.

I rolled my eyes. “Nothing.”

She shook her head. “Well, what do you want?”

I smiled small. “Were you serious about going away for the weekend?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

I bit my lip. “Well, when can we leave?”

She laughed and clutched her towel a little closer to her body. “Um, I guess tomorrow night.”

“Morning?” I smirked.

She rolled her eyes and stood up a little straighter. “Fine, I’ll organise all the details and get back to you.”

I shook my head. “No, don’t bother. All you need is permission. I’m taking you away for the weekend.”

She frowned. “Are you sure?”

I nodded once. “Yes, I’ve got it all planned out. Don’t worry.”

She looked a little concerned. “Oh god, where are you taking me?”

I turned around. “Never you mind.”

I got into my car and pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Rob; hope you don’t mind, I’m coming to visit. I’ll see you soon.

Then I reversed out of the driveway and drove all the way to Trey’s house without worrying about anything. I pulled up out the front and just as I reached the front door it opened. He stood there with his arms crossed tight over his chest, frowning at me. He was wearing a fitted, white, and V-neck t-shirt and green tracksuit pants. He looked as though he was missing something, his cardigan. He looked like he had when I’d first met him. A face mixed of angst, sadness, annoyance and innocence.