Forgotten Conscience (girlxgirl) (Book 1)

Triggers You'd Rather Not Pull

Faith's POV

I'm standing in front of Buffy, squaring off again.

Why do I keep having this dream? I still can't make out where the hell we are.

She throws three punches and again I dodge them easily. I duck for a leg sweep and kick her legs out from under her.

I crawl on top of her and pin her down. She tries grabbing at me but I pin her arms above her head with one hand and look down at her. I think I stop breathing as her beauty just hits me like a punch in the face. I brush her blonde bangs out of her face and stare down into her beautiful eyes as I lean into her.

I can feel her hot breath heavy on my face. I have this weird urge to bite her bottom lip. So I do, but instead of stopping I bite down harder. She squirms under me as I bring my hands to her throat.

I let go of her lip as it starts bleeding and I put all my weight on her neck. She starts gasping for air.

"F-Faith..."

She's trying to get out from under me but I'm too strong.

"Faith..."

I can feel her windpipe being crushed under my weight. She coughs a few times before she collapses limply on the floor.

OH GOD NO!

"FAITH..."

I open my eyes and she's staring down at me.

"Faith, are you okay?"

I sit up and rub my head.

What the hell is up with these dreams? Angel said that slayers sometimes have visions of the future.

I look over at Buffy.

She looks scared for me. Could these dreams be visions of what will happen? Is whatever's wrong with me making me destined to kill Buffy? Or did I already do that to her? These dreams don't make any sense.

"Faith what's wrong?"

Wrong? I can't tell her what's wrong.

"Nothing, I-I'm okay."

"You don't look okay."

"It's nothing. It was just a dream."

"What was the dream about?"

I can't tell her about the dreams. If it is a dream of what's to come, she might freak out and hurt me, or leave me to deal with it myself. And if it's something that I did to her, I'm not sure I want to know the answer to if it is.

"It's okay, it was just a crazy dream."

"Was it about me?"

Why is she pushing this so hard?

"Look it was just a STUPID DREAM."

She gets up and backs off.

"Okay, don't bite my head off."

Oh good, all she wanted was to help and you yell at her. What the hell is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry I... you just caught me by surprise."

"It's okay, you're under a lot of stress. Hell if I was in your shoes I'd probably be just as jumpy."

I look around and the place is empty.

"Where'd everybody go?"

"They... decided to go out for a while..."

Out?

"You mean they saw what happened and decided they wanna stay the hell away from me."

"Faith it's like I said... there's a lot of history they have to work through before they can start trusting you again."

"Well I'm sure me trying to kill you isn't helping anything."

"What happened back there, Faith?"

What happened?

I get up off the couch and sorta half pace around the room.

"I'm not so sure. Something just snapped in me. When you were talking about wanting to kill me I... it was like I lost control of myself, and all I could think about was hurting you before you could hurt me."

She takes a few steps towards me.

"Faith I need you to know. Especially if I'm gonna help you, that I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna do whatever it takes to help you get your memory back."

Whatever it takes? What if what it takes is killing me? Or ends up killing her?

"Then what made you say that you would?"

"I had to say something. They weren't going to let me just dismiss what this is doing to you. Especially with how you reacted. I had to give them something or they would've turned on you."

I stop pacing and face her.

"I get it. And on some level, I know you don't want to hurt me and I believe you but that didn't stop me. It was like I had no control over what I was doing."

I've never felt so out of control. But then I'd have to remember something before feeling out of control.

"What about those people, those vampires who attacked us... who attacked me? Do we know what they wanted?"

"No, we're not sure what they wanted but if these guys are like most big bads they'll show their crooked faces again."

"Big bad?"

"Oh, it's what we call evil things that roll into town bent on destroying the world."

"So you think whatever's out there is trying to destroy the world?"

"Well we don't know what their plan is, we never do, but it usually ends in some big life and death struggle."

Oh good. I like it already.

I take a deep breath and my eyes drop to the floor.

"So what do we do now?"

"There's nothing we can do for now. I'm tired and I'm sure you are too."

I scratch my pretend itch on my shoulder.

I do kinda feel like I'm gonna drop dead.

"Yeah, I guess I am kinda tired."

"All right, let's go back to my place and get some sleep. Giles will research this prophecy thing and we'll figure out what we gotta do to stop it."

She puts her arm around my shoulders and leads me towards the door.

"Okay let's go."

We leave Giles' place and lock the door behind us.