A story about two lovers

POV Jessica

I woke up to the smell of Mac and cheese, Carmen’s favorite food, to which I inferred Carmen had cooked. I got myself a bowel then went into the living room where she was sitting down on the couch. I sit next to her, eating my Mac and Cheese at a slow rate. I still wasn’t to keen on having to eat food, I still felt really fat. I hated the way I looked still and I didn’t want to worry Carmen by the fact of me not eating. I gently shifted on the couch lost in thought. She spoke So I know we haven’t discussed this yet but…. We need to start to plan the wedding. I nodded my head not saying a word. I agreed with her but I just didn’t feel like talking. Before I slept I had a few beers and cut my arm. I felt bad about it, honestly. She said Jess? Baby girl say something… She grabbed my arm with warm blood seeping out of the cut. JESS??? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO? I started to cry pulling my arm away from her pulling it to my chest. She ran into the bathroom grabbing the first aid kit coming back as fast as she could. She cleaned it up and bandaged it. I suppose she saw the razor covered in blood while she was in there. Why didn’t you tell me baby girl? I was crying at this point and said I…. I still felt…. Not good enough… Still scared about your mother honestly. She held me rubbing my back Baby girl…. I’m not going to leave you… not now…. Not ever. Don’t ever think like that again please… I nodded my head slowly. There still wasn’t any promises because of my past and all of the things I’ve been through, rape and abuse. I learned how to self harm at a very young age and I had been doing it ever since, I had never felt good enough or like I was worth anything no matter what people had told me. I was scared out of my mind of myself. Hay! Are you listening to me? I looked up at her Sorry… I was just thinking. She held me tighter Lynnette and Emma have to go, I think we are going to do a date night, just the two of us. How does that sound? I nod my head putting it then in the crease of her neck and fall asleep. While I’m asleep I hear her say something along the lines of Ok now to plan something special for her… She has been through a lot the past few days.