My Brother's Best Friend 2 | ✓

9. "i'm not sad"

"I'm very pleased to announce that all of the research you have been submitting is being put to good use. You will all commence your independent case study straightaway, based on a topic you have a researched." My prof, Richard, announced to us this morning.

I covered my yawn as the rest of the room quietly groaned in unison. I was too tired to even contemplate the amount of work I have planned for the next few weeks and with the midterms too, I'm afraid I'll never see the light of day.

I've been pretty stressed out lately, with all that's been going on. So I've been working on my skating, using Anthony's board, of course, since I don't have one right now. I've gotten adequately better actually, I can almost do an ollie. But almost is not enough. Either way, it's safe to say I'm certainly better than I was before.

He was right. It gets your blood pumping when you feel the rush of rolling down a hill at a high speed. Nothing beats the wind hitting your face, it's truly liberating. Plus, getting around Campus has been a lot easier too.

Sawyer would be proud, if only he could see.

In other news, I've now become a full-fledged third wheel for Cam and Parker. Movies, lunch, parties, you name it. Everywhere we go, they can't keep their hands away from each other. I'm starting to feel like I don't fit into their conversations anymore. Like I'm just bugging them with my presence. Like an unnecessary third wheel. Although I love them both to bits, it's agonizing.

I get it, I mean where else are they supposed to go? Do I ask them not to be a couple? It just sucks.

~

I was sitting on Sawyer's couch, surrounded by a bunch of leftovers from Domino's and scattered law books. The laptop in front of me had now fallen asleep because I got distracted staring at the dark blue evening sky outside.

I figured the case study isn't going to happen tonight so I picked up one of the thick books and attempted to process the information on one of the pages. "FOIA?" I asked.

"That's the Freedom of Information Act, I need that, I'm studying it right now," he pulls the book away hastily. These heavy nuisances must have cost him a fortune and he's paying for all of this by himself. I start tapping my foot because I'm overwhelmed by all of the thoughts in my head. I don't even realize I'm doing it.

"Can you please stop? I'm trying to concentrate." He snaps.

"I can leave if you want."

He just stares blankly and says nothing, then his eyes sadden. I know he's angry and frustrated, studying isn't fun, especially when that's all you've been doing for the past week. I feel like I'm in everyone's hair recently.

"No I'm sorry, don't leave. I want you here, I'm just tired—" he hesitates to speak but I just sit and wait patiently for him to get his words out. "When I got into this I didn't know it would be this hard. I'm starting to forget why I even wanted to take law in the first place,"

He buries his face into the palm of his hands. I feel helpless, not knowing how to comfort him in a situation like this. Not knowing the best advice to give him since I wouldn't want to steer him in the wrong direction. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

Instead I place a gentle hand on his back and when I do, his eyes shoot up at me, like a lightning bolt. "Please talk to me," he takes my hands, cupping them and sharing the warmth from his.

"It's fine," I shake my head.

"No, it's not." He pulls me in, and I follow his lead, shifting a bit closer and his hand now rests calmly on my knee. "You clearly have a lot going on too. Just tell me all about it, take my mind off of this." He smiles sweetly though I can tell how hard it is for him, through the cracks in his raspy burned-out voice.

His hands slowly caress the exposed skin on my legs. I got tingles up my spine as his fingers moved up to my thighs, bringing the warmth to the skin that remained untouched for a while.

"It's just—Cam and her boyfriend, Parker," I speak my mind. "I live with her, so I see it all. They're so close, they get to see each other all the time, walk to class together, stay up late together. I know it's not up to us, it's just not fair." I shrug.

"I know, but it's only a few more years," he tucks the hair falling in front of my face behind my ear as he talks. "I never imagined this would happen, we didn't plan any of it but like you said; it's not up to us."

"Yeah." I murmur.

"Hey, we will get to see each other during the summers—and we've got weekends. We will make this work baby." He tries to be positive and I admire him for it.

"I promised you I'd always be there," he pulls my chin up. "I'm not breaking that promise."

A small frail smile appears on my face. I place my small hand up to his cheek and plant a soft kiss on his lips. I don't want to talk anymore because we've said all that we could right now. "I'm going to call it a night," I say as I get ready to stand up. My mind is too foggy and I need a good night's rest to be able to think straight.

He grabs my wrist and pulls me back to the couch. "Hey, I'm not going to let you go to bed sad,"

I look into his tired eyes and smile. "I'm not sad," I say.

"When I'm with you, I'll never be sad."

Next update: July 24
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