My Brother's Best Friend 2 | ✓

22. "don't ever leave"

My heart is aching and I feel hollow inside. The pain is similar to the day my dad moved out.

I swung by my dorm room to grab a few valuables with me and before anyone got the chance to ask me where I was going, I got in my car and drove away.

I just kept driving until I turned on to a familiar little road; one I haven't driven on in so long.

It felt so natural, stepping out of my car and walking up to the big brown door. I knocked a few times and warm tears began to stream down my face again.

The door opened and without a single word, my mom welcomed me in with open arms. All the bitterness towards her just evaporated as she hugged me. I was too upset to open up that box. I needed that hug really badly.

~

It wasn't difficult slipping back into old habits as soon as I entered the dark house I once used to call my home. All that was illuminating the space was the crackling fireplace in the living room.

I twirled on the spinny stools and stuffed my face with the gooey grilled cheese sandwich. I blew on the hot tomato soup before putting the spoon into my mouth.

As I ate my food and my mom sat next to me on the stools, I came to a quick realization studying the empty surroundings; she's all alone. Well, besides all of the unfilled wine glasses and dirty plates.

"How's school?" she brings up discreetly. The udder thought of having to lie to her about how I'm on the brink of failing out of college is unbearable. "Can we please skip over the small talk?"

"Okay," she sighs loudly. "I know I've made a lot of mistakes in the past, Holly, but I'm just glad that you came here."

I resist the urge to scoff at her words, because 'a lot of mistakes' seems like an understatement to me.

"I know you're probably still very angry with me but I want you to understand why I did what I did," she calmly begins to explain but I don't feel like sitting and listening to her excuses. I can't handle that right now.

"What if I had broken up with Sawyer then?" I blurt out. "Would you have found someone else in the time span of one week?"

She's evidently taken aback by my sudden burst of anger. She opens her mouth to speak but I stop her before I get the chance to hear any more bullshit. The stored hostility I had towards her is seeping out and I can't do anything to stop it. "I'm dropping out of college." I declare.

"What?"

The words escape my mouth by accident. I've been considering it for a while now, and I've been pushing the thought aside for far too long. Regardless, this is not how I wanted the truth to come out, especially not to my mom.

"Holly, we need to talk about this," she asserts nervously. "It's fine, nevermind. I just need to go lie down." I get up and rush upstairs to my room before I say anything else I will regret later on.

I scramble into my room, which is eminently bare because most of my belongings were back at my dorm. Every house has a particular smell, oddly enough, and the familiar scent of my four bedroom walls takes me back to the good days.

Without unpacking anything I crashed onto my bed and plugged in my headphones, desperate for an escape from reality. I listened to some Blink 182 loudly and the world began to melt away.

Suddenly a message notification pops up on my phone catching my attention.

Anthony
I'm really sorry about what happened at the party. I overstepped my boundaries because I was so drunk but that's still no excuse.