ι'м åωfυℓ fσɾ ωåитιиg тħιѕ
Is it bad I actually crave hurt?
I want pain.
Not in a sexual way...
But I feel like I deserve it.
I don't deserve a loving girlfriend.
I deserve to be hit and pushed and bruised.
I don't deserve to eat.
I don't deserve to drink.
To breathe.
To think.
I don't deserve to be alive.
And i feel disgusting for it.
I feel awful for wanting to be hurt. I feel like sone fucked up piece of shit for wanting to bleed.
I feel like some unlovable monster for wishing what was done to me was worse.
I feel like a fake because what had happened to me wasn't even that bad.
It wasn't even that bad
And here I am acting as if it was the worst thing in the world.
YOU ARE READING
You don't really care; do you?
Random• Abuse • COCSA • Belittling • Eating Disorders • Self Harm • Suicide • Depression • Venting
