A/n: Trigger warning!
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Maria absolutely adored the way Eliza laughed. Her eyes would always sparkle and her mouth would always tilt up in a perfect smile. She was never afraid to laugh aloud. And the joke didn't even have to be funny to get Eliza to laugh.
Maria loved how silky Eliza's hair was. It would always fall into place without her even trying most of the time and she looked absolutely wonderful.
Maria loved how graceful Eliza looked whenever she did something. It didn't matter what she was doing, she would always look perfect doing it.
And strangely enough, Maria wasn't even the slightest bit jealous of Eliza. No. She adored all of those things because she was simply in love.
But there was no way Eliza would love a low life like her. Yeah, the Schuyler sisters took Maria in when she was desperate, and Eliza cared for her the most. But Maria knew who Eliza really cared for.
"Maria!", Eliza exclaimed in excitement, dancing around the dorm room they shared. Maria had only laughed a little, smiling at Eliza. "What is it, 'Liza?", she asked.
"Alex said yes! I asked him out and he said yes!"
Maria felt her heart shatter. She could feel the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. There was a knot in her throat and she suddenly couldn't talk.
"Maria?"
Maria snapped out of her thoughts, looking up at Eliza. Eliza looked worried for her. Maria stood up and ran out of the room. She ran and ran until she found her way into the girl's restroom.
Once there, she began to cry. She broke in loud, ugly sobs. She didn't care if anyone could hear her. Mascara was dripping down her face and her lipstick was a bit smudged.
Maria wasn't good enough. Why did she ever think she was good enough for her? She was just a whore; a nasty slut who deserved to die.
Then that's when Eliza walked into the bathroom. Maria gazed at her with wide eyes, looking helpless. "Maria? Are you okay...?", Eliza asked, worried.
Maria forced herself to smile and nodded. "O-Of course I am, Eliza. I just... The pressure of school finally got to me.", she lied. She was used to this. She wasn't the best at lying, but she sure wasn't an amateur.
"Oh...", Eliza murmured, and Maria could've sworn she saw slight guilt in her eyes.
Maria had made Eliza worry about her. She had made Eliza waste her thoughts on a useless being like Maria.
Maria walked up to Eliza, slinging her arm around her. "I'm excited for you, 'Liza! You've liked him for a very long time and now you finally get to be with him!", she said, dying a bit as each word left her mouth.
Eliza looked up at Maria, and smiled. It was forced, Maria could tell. "You wanna go back to the dorm?", she asked. Maria shook her head, "Nah. You can go. I'll be back in a second."
Eliza nodded and left. Maria walked up to the bathroom mirror, exhaling before digging her nails into her arms. She dug them deep, breaking the flesh and drawing blood. She quickly washed it off before walking out of the bathroom.
And as she walked to her dorm, she realized she would just have to face the fact that Eliza would never love someone like her.
A big part of Maria shut down as she walked to her dorm.
