New York, You're Perfect

New York, You're Perfect - Chapter Three

                  “Blaine? Is that you?” Eli called as Blaine quietly closed the front door of their apartment, “You’ve been out for a while?”

“Yeah, I met up with a couple of old friends. I would’ve invited you, but it was kind of last minute.” He smiled at the blonde man before him, trying to ignore the heavy sensation of guilt that churned his stomach. “How was your day?” He bent forwards and pecked his boyfriend on the cheek, knowing that he shouldn’t keep up this domestic pretence. He should break up with Eli, because now Kurt was back in his life, his boyfriend would always be a second priority; not to mention he was in love with the other boy.

“Long, I really missed you. It feels like it’s been days since we’ve seen eachother.” Probably because it had been, Blaine thought to himself. He hadn’t seen his boyfriend properly since his birthday a few days before.

“It has, fancy a movie night?” Blaine smiled down at the blonde, heading over to the TV and selecting any random movie, before taking his seat beside his boyfriend. While the anti-piracy adverts were playing, Blaine found his lips unexpectedly attached to Eli’s, coaxing them violently, not that the other boy needed coaxing. Eli’s hands locked tightly into his curls, pulling the back down onto the sofa, so Blaine was hovering over him, lips still fiercely melding together. Eli broke away, desperately panting for breath, and Blaine moved his kissed to his jaw line, his neck, tongue sweeping across that soft spot under his ear eliciting a breathless moan. Blaine wasn’t sure how long they were kissing on that sofa, before Eli stopped it.

“Blaine,” Eli pushed him away slightly, emerald eyes meeting hazel, and suddenly Blaine knew what his boyfriend was going to say, and in turn realised that with that kiss, he was preparing to say goodbye. Now that preparation was being ruined. “Blaine, I know we’ve not been together all that long, and I know you don’t feel the same, but I’m so in love with you. Every day I fall for you, more and more.  I love you, Blaine Anderson.” Eli looked so innocent, so earnest, declaring his passionate love to a boy who was so far away from him. Blaine felt tears rise to his eyes, and felt sick with guilt, as his first coherent thought was; how am I supposed to break up with him now?

“Eli,” Blaine whispered, forcing the name past the lump in his throat, “Eli.”

“Shh, don’t say anything back. I know you don’t love me Blaine, but I hope that you will someday, and I can wait for however long that takes.”

“I… I… I really do c-care about you,” Blaine stammered, still desperately holding back tears as thoughts of a pale, elfin face with delicate yet masculine features swam across his mind. Oh Kurt, why did I have to find you now? No, he would always love Kurt more, whether in his life or not, and he would always be held back from Eli because of that. Eli really was amazing; so attentive and sweet and kind, desperate to impress and trying so hard to involve himself in Blaine’s life and interests and friends. And Eli loved him so much; Blaine knew that right off the bat, but he knew that he was never meant to end up with Eli. Before he’d had a boyfriend mostly to prevent girls from hitting on him, but they were just casual flings and he’d ended them before any real attachments formed. He’d known things would be different with Eli, that he was growing to care for the man, but wasn’t willing to break up with him yet. In some perverse way, Eli was the exception to the rule; that Blaine allowed himself some romantic feeling towards the man. But it wasn’t enough. Eli would wait for him forever, and forever is how long he would have to wait because Blaine would never be able to love someone who wasn’t Kurt. He had to end this now; it wasn’t fair when he’d started their relationship, and it was even less fair now; he should end it. But then Eli bent his head and pressed their lips together again, and sure there might not have been fireworks, there wasn’t even a spark, but it was nice, safe, comfortable. He was a selfish man, disgustingly so and undeserving of the angel who was kissing him so tenderly, and Blaine found himself kissing back because he wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet. He wouldn’t fool himself into believing that the day that he would have to wasn’t rapidly approaching, but for tonight and perhaps tomorrow, he just let him sink into his boyfriends embrace, giving him what meagre portion of his shattered heart he could, and waiting for the moment when he would have to change the other boy’s life irrevocably. Blaine was truly a selfish creature, but Eli loved him, and if he couldn’t have Kurt yet, Eli was the next best thing.