STUFF AN More2 stuff

Vent

I am not developmentally delayed. I know I have a disability. It's a psychical disability. I'm tried of trying to be good enough for everyone else. Every time I act like the kid I am im called retarded or assumed slow. I have a walker, I know it's noticeable but why stare? I don't get it. I know I'm pretty small and donf have lower body strength but I'm still human. Why do people tell me that I have privileges, that they can treat me like nothing because they can't have human decency for a stranger? I'm good at Writing and history my favorite thing to read is mythology even though Greek mythology is a bit overrated sometimes. I'm pretty good in philosophy. I go to a school with curriculum higher then that of my grade. I'm not good at math, I am easily overwhelmed by it. I'm a nerd. I love psychology and animals. When I'm being 'too smart,' people call me annoying and walk away from me. But I still have to prove myself to them. The world is cruel and I know that. I am not naive but I know that I don't want to have a narrow mindset. I've already pushed myself in to a the corner. The friend that stayed for 6 years tells me that " she could tell there was something wrong with me so she wanted to be friends." I don't want pity. I have a voice and people shut me up then get mad when I don't want to talk anymore. I am tried of having to prove myself for respect. It is tiring to put up a front. To not be able to enjoy what I like. I'm tried of people coming to talk to me when they have problems because A, I can be realistic, B, I'm blunt. C, I'm philosophical and sometimes that helps people be a bit more optimistic. I'm able to see a human being. I'm able to learn about what may make someone feel happier if i know them well. To spite the fact I've never been In a relationship people still come and ask me questions about how to deal with Thier crushes. But WHEN I have a crush I've made it awkward. It's awkward for me to have to put myself out there to both empathize and sympathize with a person, but I do it. Not because I'm comfortable but because in the moment that someone needs me it's not about me. It's weird when I say I'm ace and I don't want to talk about something that may make me uncomfortable. I get that.

Don't go: oh I have a crush on so and so

Then I go: oh that's relatable I've had a crush like that.

Them, : yeaa

Me:" did I make it Akward....

Or

Me: oh my God your a great fen. I love you so much

Them: I love you too as a friend.

Bitch stop acting like I confessed I have a crush on you. I was telling you that I appreciate you I like making people feel appropriated and giving them a dozen nicknames. It's platonic.
It just ruins the moment okay? I'm tried of being told 'oh no HOMO'

By my friends who are girls. And know I'm not gay.