I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter8.2: This Is What It Feels Like To Quarrel With A Male Capricorn

007

Nowadays, I can't even pick a fight with Mr. F, because he'd manage to shut me up with a single sentence majority of the time. When Mr. F decides to be prim and proper, he would be rather solemn and stern. Thus, those who are unfamiliar with him often give him the following comments: Serious, rigorous and meticulous.

Every single time someone says that, I'd want to grab his collar and holler at him - You've been cheated!!!!

This fellow has the techniques of acting coy at his fingertips, and his poisonous tongue is akin a radio that spits out monologue.

There was a period of time when he had to work overtime every single day, and could only return home at 2 in the morning. I told Mr. F that although he was only getting the pay of a farmer, he was working as though he was the CEO of the company.

He laid on the sofa and tugged at his tie whilst patting my head, "Be a good girl, and help me cook a bowl of noodles."

I said, "You have yet to be promoted to the rank of a CEO, but you have the mannerisms of a CEO already."

He replied unhurriedly, "I'm not the CEO (Dong Shi Zhang), I'm the Head of being disobedient (Bu Dong Shi Zhang)."

008

We were due to attend a colleague's wedding. Before stepping out of the door, I was having an internal war over which dress to wear.

"What about this one?"

"It's too short, wear something that covers your knees."

"How about this one?"

"The color's not nice."

"Then I'll wear the black dress that you like."

"You're going to attend a wedding......"

"Fine, what about this?"

"It's nice. But if it's too attractive, won't the bride be slightly unhappy?"

"Then I'll change back to the first dress then."

When I went into the toilet to change my clothes, I heard him let out a long sigh outside, "I just can't understand why men would have the effort and energy to look for a woman outside. Having one is troublesome enough."

What? Who exactly do you think is troublesome?!?!

009

My friend knew of a fortune teller that was reputed for being extremely accurate. The fortune teller looked at my date of birth and warned me not to wear any jade accessories. Instead, I ought to 'wear gold near water'.

Although I didn't understand the phrase 'gold near water', I was too shy about exposing my ignorance and chose to secretly ask Hao Wu Yi instead.

"What exactly is 'gold near water'?"

Hao Wu Yi: "Girl, don't you know how to add a punctuation mark!? Wear gold, near water! What the fortune teller is saying is that out of your five elements, you're lacking in water!"