The Dutch Boy [BxB]

T H I R T Y F I V E - E N D

My parents both froze, slowly placing their forks onto the table, my Dad wiping the corner of his mouth with a napkin. They didn't understand it, but they didn't question it either. They merely nodded, scolded me for not telling them sooner and moved on. And that's how I came out.

I hadn't seen Theo much recently. I'd been in full revision mode, my mind completely occupied with dates and facts, my walls completely plastered in spider diagrams and timelines. Once my exams started, my sleeping schedule completely evaporated.

I was up all night, waking up before sunrise to squeeze in some more revision before my exams. Two solid weeks of being stuck in zombie mode, trudging around the house and living off coffee. I was pretty sure my blood was about 90% caffeine by now.

But then my exams were over. And school was finished forever. Now I just had to wait and hope I achieved the grades I was aiming for. But I knew it didn't matter too much - I had an unconditional offer after all. I knew people who would chop off an arm for that opportunity.

On the first night of freedom, I went to a party - I made the mistake of consuming alcohol and weed at the same time and felt sick. After that initial celebration, I slept for almost two days straight, lounging around the house and occasionally binging a Netflix series or two. By the fourth day, I was growing desperate to see Theo. But due to the exams, I'd finished five weeks before normal term time would finish. He was still at school.

After school, I showed up at his work and pestered him until he lost all his concentration. Then he gave me a blowjob by the hamster cages. On the weekends, I stole all of his attention. I felt like a needy child, begging for affection. But damnit, I was desperate.

Plus, I didn't feel too guilty when he was moaning my name, panting and pleading for my touch. That's when he looked the most gorgeous. I was under his spell, he was so mesmerising, I'd probably do anything he asked me. His hot, scolding body against mine, his swollen lips pressed to my neck, his eyes fluttering shut from the pure intensity of it all.

It was in this moment that I told him I loved him.

I didn't mean to. It slipped out without my permission, washing over his body. He was frozen for a minute, staring wide eyed at the ceiling as he tried to process my words, unknotting them, his brows furrowed in curiosity.

I started to regret it until he blurted out his own feelings. Whispering a soft, "I love you, too." And then we had sex again.

Everything felt like the perfect dream. Until I finally told Theo where I would be moving away to in September. My boyfriend didn't speak to me for a week. He wasn't angry, just upset that I'd kept it from him for so long.

I apologised a thousand times. It was midnight as I sat outside his bedroom, my head resting against the locked door when he finally forgave me. It was the only time I'd ever cried in front of him. I told him I hated myself for hurting him. That I was scared about what would happen if I left because I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to lose us. I told him I loved him again.

We hugged and kissed and had sex again. It was the best summer of my life. Sex and kisses and hugs and beautiful memories. We lounged around, enjoying the feeling of each other's presence, wishing each moment could last a lifetime.

I said my goodbyes to Daya and Phoenix first - they were leaving a week before me. Daya cried and hugged me and told me to call her everyday. Phoenix scoffed and pretended he wouldn't miss us. He broke down the second he reached his car.

Tommy got a job at Theo's parents' pet shop. It made me happy, knowing I wasn't leaving Theo alone.

And then I said goodbye to Theo. I didn't want to let him go as I hugged him tightly for the last time, whispering how much I'd miss him as I did so. He wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of his jumper before shooting me a reassuring smile. And then I was gone. Seated in the car with my family, boxes stacked up behind us, watching my boyfriend fade away in the distance.

Things weren't perfect. Me and Sam never spoke again. Eddie was still leaving messages across the pet shop, he'd even succumbed to internet harassment. Theo still fell into depressive episodes. He still sunk into the shadows and cut himself before logic could have its say. He was still broken. And I was still trying to find a way to put him back together again.

But we had each other.

And for now, we were happy.

• • •

Thank you all for reading!

There is a sequel called Battle Scars.

There is also a two part addition to the series that takes place after the epilogue (which you can read in Battle Scars) called Luca and Theo.