The Dutch Boy [BxB]

T W E N T Y S I X

The second my phone started vibrating, I snatched it up and held it close to my ear, "Hello?" I asked, sounding a little too urgent. I was sat in bed, a book I was meant to be reading for English resting lazily in my lap.

"L-Luca." Theo started from the other side of the line. I could hear the faint smile in his voice. "Thank you. Y-You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." I promised. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"No, don't be. Seriously, it's okay. I-It's funny, we should be laughing, right?"

I bit my lip as a smile started to tug its way onto my lips, "I took your suggestion. Flowers and chocolate, like a normal person."

He chuckled lightly, "N-Normal." He muttered back to himself, making me unsure as to whether I was meant to hear that or not.

"Are you okay?" I asked concernedly, "Milo said you were at the doctors."

"Y-Yeah, just a checkup." He dismissed it quickly.

A frown creased my brow as I shifted on my bed, folding the corner of my page over before setting the book aside. "So, what're these meds he's talking about?" I didn't want to accuse Theo of lying to me, but I knew he wasn't telling the truth, I just hoped I wasn't being too insensitive.

"H-He, uh...he told you...?"

"Are you alright?"

"I...I-I don't know. Sometimes."

"You're not okay." I concluded. "What's wrong?"

"C-Can you meet me?" He requested after a moment of silence. "Like n-now?"

I glanced across my room at the clock hanging on the wall. It was nearly midnight. On a school night. "Right now?" I rose my brows. "Theo, you're kind of scaring me."

"S-So, is that a no, or...?" His voice trembled, weak and fragile.

"I'm just worried." I assured him. "Shall I come over?"

"N-No, I'll text you the address." And before I could even inquire any further, he ended the call. Now, I was starting to get really worried.

I hopped out of bed, grabbing my jacket and rushing downstairs. After grumbling out a string of excuses to my Mum, who was sitting on the sofa watching a Dutch film, I left the house. Once I was seated in the shadowed, dimly lit car, I grabbed my phone to study the address Theo had sent me. I wasn't familiar with it, but I didn't spend long contemplating it before pulling out of the driveway and onto the dark roads, lit by glowing lampposts.

It was a grotty 24-hour cafe, filled with bright artificial light. It was stuffed between two larger stores, full of little metal chairs and tables, a singular waitress working the bar. Once I'd parked my car, I noticed Theo stood outside, shivering from head to toe. The first thing I did as I neared him was rip my jacket off, wordlessly approaching him and tightening it around his shoulders.

He glanced up, his eyes big and glistening in apprehension. "You okay?" I asked, holding his face in my hands so he couldn't look away, his cheeks cold beneath my fingertips.

He broke the eye contact, glancing into the glowing shop behind him, "Y-You wanna g-get a coffee?"

I nodded, enveloping his small, trembling hand in mine. No one we knew would be here, especially at this time, and at this point, I didn't care. I gave our brief order to the waitress before sitting down at a table in the corner. The metal was scuffed and icy cold to the touch, the chairs screeching as they dragged across the linoleum floor.

I got a proper look at Theo once we were sat down. The lighting was harsh, like a gas station reeling you in during a long journey. It illuminated his whole demeanour; his scruffy snowy hair, his slightly hollowed face, his razor sharp jawline and chiselled cheekbones. His eyes were twinged red, his lower lip pale and trembling from the cold. My jacket was too big for him, making him look smaller, and more breakable.

"W-Would you be totally pissed off if I-I dragged you down here for n-no reason?" He finally asked, pulling his tried, heavy gaze up to meet mine. He looked nervous, almost intimidated.

I took a deep breath, leaning over the table to squeeze his cold hand, "No." I told him simply. "Just tell me what's going on."

He slowly retracted his hand from mine, pulling his knees up to his chest and curling in on his body, as if trying to protect himself, shield himself. "S-Sometimes I just feel...like, insanely shitty." He said thickly. "Since it happened...y-you know..." He glanced up at me, his eyes begging me to understand what he was talking about so he wouldn't have to remind me. I nodded in encouragement, urging him to continue. "I-I've gotten these depressive episodes." He explained, "I'm usually fine, but then...sometimes, I just...I feel like I'm collapsing in on myself."

The lady came over with our coffee, slamming the mugs onto the table so the hot liquid spilt over the top and dribbled onto the floor. We were silent as she wordlessly retreated behind the counter, plucking her phone from her pocket and screwing her headphones in. "Is it bad?" I asked tentatively, pulling the coffee towards me, staring down into the milky liquid clouding and swirling around in the mug.

He was staring down at his own mug, tracing the rim with his fingertips, moving it in slow circles, around and around and around. It was mesmerising. "Y-Yeah." He whispered. "B-But I-I just...I really don't wanna talk about this right now."

I nodded blankly, "Yeah. Yeah, that's fine, you don't have to tell me anything." I assured him. "So...are you, like...in one of these episodes now or something?"

He gulped, "I-I'm not sure yet. I think...I think...maybe?" He admitted. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I whispered, trying to catch his eye, but he was intent on avoiding my gaze. "Please don't apologise."

He smiled softly, or attempted to anyway. I took a sip of my drink, watching him over the top of the mug as the scolding coffee ran down my throat "I-I actually thought it was sweet." He spoke up unexpectedly. "The, um...p-present."

I rose my brows, smiling in amusement as I gulped down my drink and placed it back on the table, "Really?"

He smiled too, this time it was a little more genuine, though still sad. "F-Flowers and chocolates are nice, but...you went out of your way to g-get something funny. Y-You didn't have to, but...you did and...I don't know, I think it's cute."

I smiled warmly at him, "Don't worry, I'll tell my friends that it was a joke or something." I promised, "But hey, now you have something to use if you ever feel-"

"N-No thanks." He laughed faintly. And somehow, it made him look sadder.

It felt like the first time we'd been real together. Obviously, we'd told each other secrets before, like my attempt to burn down my school and Theo's bullies thinking he was a stalker. But this somehow felt deeper. We were no longer just dating, visiting the cinema together, eating out and laughing all evening together. It was the middle of the night and we were sat in a grimy, forgotten, 24-hour coffee shop with a disinterested waitress. And he was telling me why he needed meds, why he felt like he wasn't good enough. And I was listening and feeling like my heart was starting to crack down the middle.

It was real and raw. Like a proper relationship. And maybe that's why I blurted out my next words without a second thought, "D'you wanna be my boyfriend?"

His vibrant eyes snapped up to meet mine in alarm, his chapped lips parting. "I...uh..." He gaped for a moment or two, stammering over his words before he took a deep breath and fixed on a lopsided smile, "Y-Yes."

I rose my brows, a grin spreading across my lips, "Really? Wow, I've never been anyone's boyfriend before. Sorry if I'm shit at it, I'll try my best. Does this mean I have to send you a goodnight text every-?"

He chuckled, pulling me across the table by my collar, pressing our lips together. I smiled, kissing him back hesitantly. But once he pulled away, he looked sad again, his eyes shadowed with concern, "L-Luca, can I stay at yours tonight?"

I frowned at his unexpected request, "Yeah...sure, but why? Is everything alright at home?"

"Y-Yeah, everything's f-fine. I swear." He promised, "I just don't wanna b-be alone right now. Is...I-Is that okay?"

I clenched my jaw, unsure how to react. I wanted to hug him and kiss him and tell him everything's okay. But I was scared he wouldn't believe me. So, all I could do was nod and smile.