Work #1 : We all have our own perception of what love is. Some of us adore it while others despise it. Some of us never really knew what love was to begin with. What we accepted or allowed because we thought it was "love" is what fucked love up for...
The sounds of him pounding himself into me and my cries for help were all that could be heard. No matter how much I begged him to stop, he didn't. No matter how hard I hit him or tried to push him off of me, he wouldn't stop.
"Lay there and take it bitch." He spat out at me while grabbing me by my neck. His grip began to get tighter and tighter to the point where I was struggling to breathe. Out of reflex I grabbed his hands and began trying to pry them off my neck. I used all the strength my thirteen year old body would allow me to, but it was useless.
At this point I was damn near unconscious and he still didn't stop.
"Your mother and father made a fine young woman. Hard to believe you're only thirteen with a body like this." How my father could ever befriend a man like this I would never understand. He was too friendly and couldn't see wrong in anyone.
After a while I just gave up and let him have his way with me. At that point I just wanted to die. If this is what life was going to throw at me at such a young age, why am I even living?
A little girl should never have to go through something like this. Instead of enjoying my innocence, I was having it taken away from me.
Love? All I could do is laugh at the mention of it. If a man can be so sick minded to rape a little girl, then he's capable of doing much worse.
They don't think about the emotional trauma that's left with that little girl when their finished. They leave them feeling like they're worth nothing. They're disgusted with who they see in the mirror, because all they can see or feel is his hands all over them. Some even go as far as taking their own life.
He ruined men for me. I'm never going to be able to love a man or even get to know one because of him. I won't allow myself to let a man ever get that close to me.
I don't put shit past any man. Only man I will ever trust is my father, and that's how it's been since that incident.
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Jayceon Terrell Taylor
"Where the fuck is the money? Answer me!" I rushed downstairs to see what all the commotion was. I stopped at the second to last step so I wouldn't be seen.
My eyes got big when I saw a gun pointed to my mama's head. Her facial expression matched mine as tears ran down her face. Looking over to the other side of the room, I saw my pops tied up to a chair with duck tape. If looks could kill that motherfucka' would've been long gone.
"I-I don't know.." His grip around the gun got tighter as he glared at my mama.
"Say that shit again and you gone be six feet unda'. Your nigga be out here runnin' these streets and bring in hella cash. You sleep in a bed with him and you don't know where the money at? Try that shit with somebody else."
"I really don't know okay! Just let us be and lea-" Before she could finish her sentence the gun went off. I put my hand over my mouth as tears began to form in my eyes. There my mama was.. dead on our livin' room floor.
At only the age of fourteen I had to witness my mama get killed. All because she wanted to protect us and make sure we would be good. Even if it meant her dyin'.
He pointed the gun towards my pops and started laughin' to himself.
"I was goin' to shoot your ass too, but you livin' with that hurt is good enough for me." With that bein' said he left.
I waited by the stairs for a lil bit before runnin' over to my pops and gettin' him out the chair. My mind was all over the place. A nigga just lost his mama over some stupid shit.
When I looked over at her I couldn't help but cry. My mama was my everythin' man. Now she was gone.
"Baby you gotta wake up.. Wake up!" My pops yelled as he shook her lifeless body in his hands. His body fell limp as he began to cry loudly.
He looked over at me for a second before motionin' me to come by him. When I got close to my mama, I fell to my knees and let everythin' I was feelin' at the moment out. He pulled me into a hug and we both just sat there and cried.
"That nigga gone get what's comin' to him.." I just laid there with my head on her chest.
The funeral was even harder, because that was conformation that she was really gone. Half my heart went down with my mama. All I had was my pops now.
Years went by and my mama's death got a lil easier to cope with. I worked at my pop's mechanic shop and tried to stay out of trouble. He quit the game and made sure I had no parts of it.
I did lil drops here and there, but extra money on the side wouldn't hurt. It wasn't goin' to be a permanent thing either. Just planned to save up some money and have some to spend.
Life was promised to nobody, and I had to find that out as a youngin'.
That nigga still livin' knowin' what he did to my mama. I'm goin' to get justice for her though. He ain't gone be breathin' for much longer. _______________________________
