There Is a Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It.

Don't Go

As soon as we got to the park, Kimberley immediately got out of the car and skipped over to the drivers side, just as I was getting out. I smiled at her, and she snuggled into my arm as we walked. The whole ride there we didn't really talk but I think she wanted to wait till we arrived. We took a seat in the grass, it was a bright sunny day for once, and I usually don't like the sun, but I was with Kimberley so I didn't really care. 

Around the park, children played without a care in the world. Their biggest problems probably being their parents not buying them a toy, or not being able to tie their own shoes. I wish I could be that age again, not having to worry about anything and easily blaming things on something else. However, I don't really mind right now with Kimberley here with me. Her by my side makes me feel amazing..

She was the first one to speak, "So, does this mean we're...?" Her sentence trailed off but I already knew the question.

"Uhm, I guess so. Depends what you think, I guess. I mean...I really do love you, and you said you loved me too, right?"

She looked up from her lap, her large eyes catching me in a trance, "Of course I do. But, does this mean we're dating? Is that weird?"

"Wha' do ya mean?"

"Well, we're kinda 8 years apart..."

Wow, I totally forgot. Honestly, when I'm with her I feel like I'm about her age again, it doesn't even feel like I'm over 18. Maybe it's because I just really love her company and she makes me feel young. I fucking love this feeling. 

"I haven't even thought about that to be honest."

"Oh, so your ok with it?"

 "Heh, why wouldn't I be?" I smiled at her, she smiled back but clearly wanted an explanation. "I mean, when you're inlove does age really matter?"

"So you're saying if I was 12 and you were 30, it wouldn't matter?" She said jokingly.

"Hah, of course! I..." I paused for a second, then continued, "don't think our age gap is so bad anyway. You're turning 18 soon anyway, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right.."

I moved closer to her and wrapped my arm loosely around her waist. She hugged me back and kissed my cheek. She's so adorable.

Honestly if I hadn't ever found Kimberley out in the woods, i would probably be sitting here with Amanda instead of her. Thinking about Amanda suddenly made me feel sad for a moment, but knowing I had Kimberley instead of here immediatley changed that. I would give up so much more than just Amanda to be with Kimberley. 

"What are you thinkin' about?" 

"Oh, um, nothing really." I guess she noticed I was out of it. "My girlfriend broke up with me today...it doesn't matter. I was just thinking about how lucky I am to be here with you."

"Why'd you break up?" She asked, curiousity written all over her face.

"I'm not to sure if there were any other reasons, but she saw me with you at that show and thought I was cheating on her with you-"

"Oh my god, are you serious? I'm so sorry.."

"What, don't be! I don't really care anymore...you understand me better that she could ever hope to. You make me feel so much better about myself."

"Really?" She half smiled, probably proud of herself for understanding me more than my own girlfriend- I mean, ex-girlfriend. "I guess we were just meant to find eachother..since thats basically how I feel about you"

It was my turn to smile. I squeezed her tightly, moving her closer to me. She fell back, pulling me with her on the grass, and we just kinda laid there for a while. 

Eventually i started drifting off, my eyes closing slowly. I didnt even know I was tired but apparently I was. We kinda cuddled and i felt myself falling asleep...

"Oli? Are you awake?" Kimberley asked with a giggle. 

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit tired"

"From what?"

"I dunno.." I held her there and stared off into space. It was only a few hours after noon. 

To be honest, i haven't really gotten much sleep due to the events currently happening in my life. i didn't want to worry Kimberley, even though it's not that weird that I wouldn't be sleeping much. I usually wouldn't, anyway. But these days it's gotten worse. But hopefully, now that I'm with this girl that I actually know I love, things will be different. I contemplate about this for a while before looking down at Kimberley, her eyes staring right back at me as if she was watching me.

"Whatta ya lookin' at?" I ask jokingly with a smirk. She laughs and kisses me.

"At your face. It's pretty hot."

"Oh, thanks. Your not bad yourself."

There's a pause, and I kind of want to ask if she wants to come back to my place, but fight it off thinking she'll get creeped out and think i just want to get in her pants. But then I ask anyway because I'm kind of stupid.

"Hey, so um, what are you gonna be doing today?"

"I was gonna go meet up with my friend from school, but I think I'd rather be here with you."

That made me smile. I thought I'd rather just tease her and she what happens. 

"Well, I dunno...you already made plans. I think I should take you home then."

"What? Why?" She looks at me a bit confused, like if thats not what she wanted to hear.

I sit up, "Yeah, I think we should go on and do that."

"But I don't wanna go!" She says childishly. It's okay, though. because when she acts childish it's cute. If it were anyone else I'd probably walk away in annoyance.

"You don't?" I say with a big grin. 

"No...please don't go."

She gives me the puppy dog eyes.

"Aww," I give in easily. "Fine, you win. But only on one condition."

"Okay, what is it?" She suddenly changes her mood, pleased that she's one this round.

"Lets go back to my place? Sitting looking at the clouds is making me want to go to bed." I don't tell her I was mostly just looking at her, even though she probably already knew that.

"I guess so. What are we gonna do there, though?"

"We can watch movies n shit." She chuckles. We lay there for a little bit more. she kind of still watches me as I stare off at the trees. "I was kidding about leaving you, by the way."

"Huh? Why?" She replies, slapping me playfully.

"I wanted to see your reaction." I say with a smirk. She looks at me as if she's about to punch me in the face, but then quickly turns into a fit of giggles.

"What the fuck, man. You actually had me going, that's fucked up," She said jokingly. "Even after telling you I'd rather stay here with you...douche." She hugs me tight, laying her head on my chest. "I was serious, though."

"About?" I drag on the O.

"About not wanting you to go."

"Aw, come on, you know I would never want to leave you either. I don't give a fuck about your friends, only you. They can see you some other time."

That made me sound a bit possesive, but I honestly don't care. I knew she felt the same about me and that's all that matters. I feel her smile rub on me, and I know she knows I know. She clings tighter to me. After about 5 minutes I hear her say under her breathe,

"Just...don't go."