Restricted II H.S

Chapter 10

A dark wooden door is opened by Ash as he guides me inside. A strong musky smell is lingering in the room.

Light brown walls stand tall, a large bed is placed in the centre of the room with a large headboard. The carpet rough beneath my shoes and long dark curtains drape down, closing off my connection with the outside world.

Ash walks over to the bed as I keep my position by the now closed door.

I shouldn't be as nervous as I am. Ash is a nice guy. That's the problem though, he is a nice guy and I like him. I don't want to do something stupid with him like I have done with many other dicks and then never see him again. As harsh and stone like as I am, I do still care about seeing my friends.

I feel a pang of guilt build up in my chest along with the pressure the longer I think about Dean, I haven't seen him in a long time. It seems risky to be doing something with someone else while our relationship isn't as strong as has been in the past. I'm sure he doesn't care what I do with other guys but I feel as if he will this time, it will be different. I have no clue as to why the fuck I would think that but I just do.

Ash looks at me for a while before patting the spot beside him on the bed. I make my way over there and sit beside him, so there is a small gap between us.

Looking down at my hands I feel a hot breath tickle against the back of my neck.

I take a sharp intake of breathe as I didn't expect him to be that close.

I begin to feel uncomfortable as Ashes large hands grip my weight. It feels strange having Ashes arms around me in this way. Not with any other guy, and I would know because many of guys have held me in this way, but Ash just seems different for some reason.

Slowly I am turned around on the bed so that my back is flat against the mattress and Ash is sprawled out across my body, holding his weight up with his arms, both either side of me.

It's only now that I realise how strong Ash actually his, his muscular temple has never really struck me before.

I hear a rustling as Ash fiddles around in him pockets for something, before pulling out a small silver packet.

Ash begins to tear the small thing open; before I realise what my actions are doing, my mind takes over as my hand darts out to his to make him stop.

That's all I want him to do, stop. I don't want to do this. I am scared and I admit it. I don't normally get scared but I am and I can say that to myself this time that I am scared of the unknowen, I have no clue as to what could happen and I don't tho I want to not be in control.

Ash stops his actions and slowly tilts his head to the right, studying my face before deciding what words to use.

"Why?" Is the word that comes out of his mouth in a very breathy confused tone.

I have to explain. Shit. Shit.Shit.Shit.

This is what I have been trying to avoid for so long. I guess I still could. So much for a fucking "open book".

"I just" I say trying to sound confident in my words, but knowing it isn't playing as well as I had hoped "your a friend Ash" I smile. I think I got it.

"Friends have sex all the time" I shrugs his shoulders as if he doesn't get the big deal. There shouldn't actually be a deal with this, I would fuck him and then it would be done, but something in me just... Can't.

"Not tonight" I sigh as he flops on to the bed beside me. I feel disappointed in myself, my stomach shouldn't feel as uneasy and I virtually want to beat myself up.

"What should we do then?" He questions "there all expecting us to fuck." He states clearly.

"Lie" I say as if it is obvious, which is it. I lie all the time.

Ash lets out a loud sigh as he sits up on the bed slouching slight. His eyes are trailed on the floor as I watch his movement carefully.

"Let's go" he says extending his arm out for my hand. I pull back and rest my hand on my stomach, attempting to make my move less obvious.

"Wait." I state clearly "it wouldn't be that fucking short."
Ash just shrugs his shoulders again as if he was agreeing, which I assume he was. He then crashes down against the bed so he is stretched out comfortably.

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I literally don't know how long ago a wrote this. So yeah sorry for the mistakes and the terrible writing techniques ;)