when how and why•tyrus

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c y r u s

that night i sat awake way too long worrying about tj. he seemed so different from before summer. everything he said just sounded...dark? there was obviously something going on there but i didn't exactly inherit my parents gift for reading people. i'd make a terrible shrink.

i didn't get to bed until 1:30 at least. for once i actually needed my alarm to wake me up. i rushed around to get ready. for the amount of time i took i seemed to look pretty good. maybe that was just because my hair liked me today. i gave myself finger guns in the mirror and did a little spin followed by a wink. i should be modeling for magazines.

by the time susan arrived i had done my daily morning routine and finished up my chapter of the host.

jonah rang the doorbell and as usual i ran up, backpack in hand, completely prepared. the day i'm not overly ready for my carpool will be the day my soul dies.

i opened the door and jonah greeted me with his plastic smile, which seemed to grow more fake with every passing week. i really should try to see what's up with him soon.

the car ride to school was filled with mindless speaking and of course jonah and andi's bickering. they tried to pretend it was playful but even a blind man could see it was not.

when we arrived at school the grounds were already swarming with kids. the buzzing of chatter was irritating.

"i'm going to class early because," i motioned around the noisy courtyard "these loud teens are disrupting my ability to think. you coming andi?" i turned to the short haired girl.

she looked up from her phone quickly "oh no." she smiled "i'm actually meeting walker in the library." i swear she practically glowed when she talked about him.

jonah however seemed to do the exact opposite. "mind if i come?" he spoke through gritted teeth.

"you already know i do." andi spoke equally as raged.

"why? it's not like you are getting it on in the fucking library." he hissed through a sarcastic smile.

"and it's not like you're getting it on anywhere but i'm not trying to f-" andi started to increase on volume before buffy jumped in.

"chill andi!" buffy then turned to jonah. "go. i don't care where. you need to cool off before class."

jonah quickly strolled off. i swear that they knew each other inside and out now. weird how things change. i turned to andi while buffy made sure jonah didn't try to come back.

"and you go meet walker. ok?" i asked. andi only nodded and headed towards our library.

once andi and jonah were both out of sight buffy turned to me. "we've got to fix that." she rolled her eyes.

"definitely." i sighed dramatically. "see you in math?"

"you know it." she smiled and pulled me into a hug before walking off to who knows where.

i turned towards the stairs leading up to the art room but next to the stairs someone in mrs. larson, the counselor's, office caught my eye.

tj. he seemed so...stressed? he clearly wasn't in a good mind set. he was arguing with
mrs. larson and his hands were wildly tangled within his hair. his skin was so pale. every ounce of color seemed to be drained. he was struggling for air based off the rapid movement of his shoulders. suddenly he burst out of the office heading for the front doors.

i started after him. "tj!" i shouted to get his attention and he whipped his head towards me. he rolled his eyes dramatically.

"of course. this is just fucking perfect." he said in a low growl.

i ignored his obvious distaste for seeing me. "what's going on? are you ok?" i spoke with concern.