you are not alone. ~sincerely, XXX

trapped in my mind ~ 1

Jahseh POV

Thinking about it embarrassed me. Why was I having these dreams of a perfect life with her? Better yet, why did I want her to myself? I never felt this type of love since as long as I could imagine. Somehow she broke my emptiness and filled me with joy. I hated the fact that I caught feelings for somebody but I just couldn't stop it, as hard as I tried...my heart pleaded for her. Finally reality slapped me in the face, she'll leave me just like Geneva did, I thought to myself with a sad yet angry face. Although I felt that she was different than others, I remember my thoughts for Geneva...the exact same, now look where the fuck that got me.

I shook my head and finally got up out of bed. I checked my phone and saw I had a few messages and 4 missed calls from Stokes and Geneva. I didn't bother reading the messages knowing that Geneva had nothing useful to say and Stokes was asking for me to come over. I placed my phone down and quickly got ready to take a shower. I decided to wear my black adidas sweatpants with my black and red 'revenge' hoodie. I set it down on my bed for after my shower.

I turned on the water so it could adjust while I stripped my clothes off and got ready to play my Spotify 'shower' playlist which included Lil uzi, The Weeknd, Kendrick and a few other RnB artists.

The warmth of the water soothed me and relaxed my body while I ran my hands through my short dreads and played with my little heart charms at the end of them, letting me forget about all the bullshit that was currently going on in my life, especially the whole situation with Geneva and her bullshit lies. I don't know why she won't just leave me alone, she says she loves me but what kind of lover would make your life miserable, but now wasn't the time for me to think of that, I needed to stay positive, I can't get in anymore shit. I sang along to all the The Weeknd songs and rapped to all the Kendrick songs until I realize I had been in the shower for about 15 minutes now and I haven't even started cleaning yet. I quickly washed my hair with shampoo and conditioner, washed my body with my old spice 'FIJI'. Hopping out the shower, I dried my hair and body with the towel and wrapped it around my waist.

I wiped the fog that covered the mirror and stared at myself for a good 5 minutes with a blank face, thinking about how ugly I was while running my fingers across my 'cleopatra' tattoo on my chest and pulling the skin of where my 'numb' tattoo was, stretching my under-eye-lid out. I looked down at the floor for a few seconds with a sad expression until opening the washroom door and going to my room.

I put on my clothes that I had ready on my bed for after the shower, sprayed a bit of cologne on me and headed downstairs, "Good morning mom. Morning buddy", I said to my mom and my little brother as I made my way down the stairs. "Morning Jahseh. Do you mind dropping your brother off at school? I have to go to an early morning meeting, I won't have time to drop him off and I'll be late.",my mom said, I agreed since I was headed that way anyways and I had enough time. It was currently 7:50, Aiden's school starts at 8:20 and I'm supposed to meet up with Stokes at around 8:30.

I was suspended from school for slapping the shit out of one of the guys that tried to touch 'her', here I go thinking about Aysia again I thought while rolling my eyes. Anyways, I had to meet up with Stokes so we could finish our 'members only volume 1' tape which we promised our fans we would release by the end of this week and considering the fact that we weren't even close to being finished, we needed all the time we had.

I headed into the kitchen and grabbed 3 waffles from the freezer, plopping two waffles into the toaster for myself and one for my brother. As I waited for them to toast, I got out the milk, two cups, and two plates. I poured two glasses of milk and set them on the table. I walked over to Aiden and plopped down on the couch beside him watching the one spongebob episode where Patrick and Spongebob were having a contest to see who was better at golf.

Once I heard the waffles bounce out of the toaster, I playfully picked Aiden up and put him on my shoulders, carrying him to the table while he giggled with a huge smile on his face. The one person that could make me smile was him, he meant the world to me, I would die for him.

We finished our food and put the dishes in the sink, setting a reminder in my head to wash them when I come back from Stokes. I picked out my black hightop Air Force ones and helped Aiden put on his new Jordan 6's I got him for his birthday, and then we were out the door.

We pulled up to his school and I unlocked the doors for him. "Bye Aiden, have fun at school. Don't forget to tell me what you learned when you get back home", I said to him as I smiled and he waved goodbye. Once I was done that, i checked the time where it was still 8:10 so there was enough time to get something from Dunkins donuts, I went outta the 'kiss and ride' lane and then made my way to Dunkins.

Once I finished my 'breakfast' I quickly texted Ski telling him I was on my way, plugged in the aux and then I was off to Stokes crib.

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First chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed!