Love on the Brain || Rihanna x Nicki Minaj

14

* i really hadn't kept track of how much time had passed since the last chapter until someone dmed me last week asking when the next update was omf i'm sorry 💀

the ride to robyn's apartment was rather tense. no words were spoken between the two, rather the silence was filled with Nicki cursing at all the other cards on the road. she already had terrible road rage, and after learning what she just had, it was ten times worse.

everything ranging from "oh fuck you, you dick muching asshole," to "cut in front of me and i swear to god i'll shove a mop up your ass. give you the ole nitty gritty Tyler treatment." spilled from her mouth, with robyn hardly paying attention due to being lost and wrapped up in her own thoughts as she blankly stared out of the window.

she knew Nicki was right. that was an unfortunate fact. but she still didn't want to admit and come to terms with what was happening to her.

maybe, she thought, it was out of love like Anthony said. maybe deep down she did deserve it. maybe it is her fault, and it'll stop if she just becomes a better girlfriend.

this was her thought process. it was a sad, and toxic thought process, but it was hers and she couldn't help it.

her mind was clouded with thoughts of "what did i do wrong?" and "how can i be better?" and if Nicki knew this she'd probably literally attempt to knock some sense into her.

but that obviously wouldn't help anything since that's kind of the reason they're even in this situation in the first place.

when they reached the apartment, Robyn stepped in and went off to the room without a word. Nicki, assuming Robyn went to pack her things, took a seat on the couch.

she located the remote and turned the tv on to the food network, grinning and making herself comfortable after seeing Chopped had just started.

an episode & a half in  and four eliminations later, Nicki's eyes wandered over to Robyn's bedroom door.

it was then that she realized she had been silent this entire time

Nicki got up from the couch (after waiting for a commercial break) and invited herself inside the bedroom. it was there that she saw Robyn down on the floor in front of her suitcase.

"yo what the fuck is the holdup? you're only packing for the weekend and it really doesn't take—"

Nicki stopped mid sentence after realizing Robyn's body was shaking and she was sniffing quietly.

"oh fuck me." she muttered to herself after catching sight of the trail of tears making its way down the redhead's face.

what do i do? do i stand here? do i comfort her? do i walk away and pretend i never saw anything? yeah, yeah that third option sounds pretty good.

turning on her heel, Nicki already had one foot through the threshold when a weak, and nearly mute voice, stopped her.

"you're right." it spoke.

this made Nicki's heart rate increase exponentially. she slowly turned back around, her brown eyes meeting with robyn's puffy red ones when she did.

"about everything. i thought.. i thought maybe you and Justine were just being dramatic and i thought that everything he did to me is what i deserve because he loves me and maybe if i was just a better girlfriend then maybe he'd stop and then we could make it work"

Nicki stayed silent, harshly grinding her teeth together as she listened to Robyn's words.

"but now that i've thought about it and i'm being forced to temporarily move out of my own apartment against my will, i realized you were right. you're not supposed to abuse someone you love. people don't abuse people that they love. he would hit me, punch me, slap me, choke me, force me to—"

"—i get it." Nicki spat, taking a seat beside Robyn who was now staring off into space as she spoke.

"and he would always say it was only because he loved me and that it hurt him more than it hurt me because he never really wanted to put his hands on me, but 'i had to learn somehow.' but that's such bullshit."

she chuckled dryly, shaking her head in disbelief.

it was now, speaking these thoughts out loud, that she was starting to realize what a fool she had really been to believe everything that was said to her.

anytime she watched a movie or a show that involved an abusive relationship, she would always call the woman stupid for not seeing her spouse's true ways and choosing to stay with him after all he's put her through. she would always say "are you stupid? why don't you just fucking leave him?"

but now that she was that woman, she understood. she understood how the women truly and actually couldn't see what was actually going on. she understood the influence the men had on them and how powerful it was. and she hated it. she hated it with every fiber in her being.

and she also hated the fact that even after realizing all of this, she didn't immediately hate Anthony like she thought she should. She knew that even though he treated her terribly, she still had something in her heart for him and it sucked. but unfortunately it was something that would take time.

"i cant believe i'm so stupid." she sniffled, wiping her tears off of her cheek. she felt more tears brimming her eyes, threatening to spill over. and that was another thing she hated. the fact that she was sitting here crying over a man who didn't deserve it. a man who was probably off doing something that made him happy. probably out with another girl, she thought.

"you're not stupid." Nicki spoke up. she turned Robyn's face towards her own and wiped away her tears herself, careful not to scratch her with her long pink fingernails.

"well i mean you are stupid. and you lack common sense sometimes, but that's not the point." she laughed.

"look. as much as i think it's fucking ridiculous for women to stay with abusive men, and to date men in the first place when there's plenty of fine women out here instead—"

"—Nicki."

"right. my bad. as i was saying, even though i think it's fucking ridiculous for women to stay with abusive men, i've never been in that situation so i don't know what it's like and how it feels. i don't understand how they still think there's love in the relationship and i don't understand why make up excuses for the man as if he's in the right but never come clean about he abuse to other people, which shows they know he's in the wrong. i don't understand any of it."

she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she got all worked up again.

"but even though i think you're stupid at times, i know that this isn't your fault, and you must've truly believed that nigga loved you in order for your stubborn ass to stay with him. why you chose him over me i don't know because we both know by now that even if you aren't fully gay you're somewhat willing to experiment and—"

"—Nicki." Robyn interrupted again, this time a tiny smile forming on her lips even though her face was somewhat squished since Nicki had it in between her hands.

"right. anyways, i know this isn't all your fault and i'm sorry for being so pissed off at the restaurant but i'm still making you come home with me until that nigga's dead— I mean behind bars and now i'm gonna stop because i'm not good at apologizes and this shit has me feeling awkward as fuck so now i'm gonna go back and see who got chopped so uh yeah hurry up so we can go."

with that, she brought Robyn's face closer to hers and briefly brought their lips together before quickly standing to her feet and walking out, leaving Robyn dumbfounded for he millionth time since they met.