My Dearest Darling,
This two hundred page book will explain why I will not marry you.
This book contains two hundred reasons as to why I am breaking your heart. So sorry about that by the way. This page will include a reason as well. Again, I am deeply sorry about any pain that this book may cause you.
Sincerely,
Beatrice
Reason number one: There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book. I choose to close this book, and move on to the next one.
If at any point, this book becomes too painful to bear, please, close the book immediately. I would hate to have to cause you more pain than necessary to get my point across.
If necessary, lock this book away in a dark closet with the rest of your skeletons. Figurative skeletons. Very few noble people in this world have literal skeletons in their closet. Except biology teachers, who may have skeletons in their closet for studying anatomy.
YOU ARE READING
My Dearest Darling
FanfictionLemony Snicket's book series "A Series of Unfortunate Events" mentioned a two hundred page book explains why Beatrice wouldn't marry him.
