santana and brittany

wedding

Brittany's Point of View

"Come on." my mom says once she's opened the doors to this creepy barn

"So why are we in a barn in rural northeast Indiana?" Artie asks as we all step in. By all I mean Santana and I, our moms, and Artie,

"Well, gay marriage is illegal in Ohio, but legal in Indiana. Makes absolutely no sense." Santana clears up

"No, no, no. I mean, what are we doing in a barn in rural northeast Indiana?" Artie asks again and I don't understand the difference

"I thought it would be fun for you two to get married in the barn that Brittany was born in." My mom says and I freeze

"What? Wait, what?" I ask

"Your father had his heart set on this trip to the Amish country and we spent the whole day shopping for handcrafted Amish electric fireplaces, and I had this horrible indigestion from all that apple butter and I told your father to pull the car over and I ran into this barn for some privacy. I quickly pulled down my pants and I squatted real low- - and usually, I never look..."

"Oh, my god." I say as I cover my eyes

"...but it was just my lucky day. I looked down, and it turns out I was in labor and Brittany, it was you. And I was very lunch, cause there was a little cow over here and he helped lick you clean, and I swaddled you in a Mr. Submarine wrapper that I found on the ground and I carried you back to the car, and boy, was your father surprised."

"That story's insane." Mrs, Lopez says while shaking her head

"Listen, I'm so happy. That makes me very happy. I could not be happier. I've got my two moms and future BFFs together, at last, and I think, babe..." Santana turns her body and faces me, "This is the perfect place to get married."

"Well...it could be fun. I can work with this." Mrs. Lopez says

"You better." Mom says

"As your official wedding planner, I'll be there to make sure it's perfect. And while this isn't exactly what I was picturing, either, Mrs. Lopez, I do think this place has some potential."

The wedding is in four days so Artie and I had everyone start working on it tonight and it's not going well.

"Ooh, it's looking good, guys. Hey, when you're done with that, why don't you give Tina a hand." Kurt says

"How did I end up doing this? These are, like, 700-pound hay bales." Tina says as she pulls one last me

"Because you volunteered to help out." Kurt says

"I didn't think I'd be stuck doing heavy manual labor, or I wouldn't have worn heels. And I don't...I don't really know all these new kids and I think they're a little pissed that I didn't reintroduce myself and now nobody's talking to me and it's really awkward."

"Oh, no. What's wrong?" Kurt asks me

"I don't know know! I'm freaking out! I-I-I'm, like, in total panic mode. I don't think this barn is structurally sound and I'm scared it's gonna collapse and just, like...like, kill everybody." I say and everyone laughs

"Britt, you are just having some pre-wedding jitters..."

"No." I say cutting him off

"It's totally fine."

"Like, we still, Uh, we still haven't had our final fittings... oh, Kurt. I just got a telegram from Martina Navratilova that she can't be our officiant because she's never really done it before and she doesn't really know either of us."