Luke's Birthday

It’s late and I’m tired. I’m sitting on the lumpy grey couch in Ashton’s sitting room beside Luke. It’s been a really long day for us all, beginning with a surprise Birthday wake up for Luke –which was funny- and then going out to a bowling alley with the gang. We played this laser game there as well which was cool. I’ve been near him all day and I know what he’s feeling. He looks at me every now and then and I see the lonesome look in his infinite blue eyes. He misses his family and Molly and home. I have wanted to make him feel better for the whole day but I know what he’s like. Trying to make him feel better won’t work, he’s too introverted. I stare at him now in my feebleness, I am tired but I know it’s not a physical fatigue. I know my head is only making me feel like this because my sub-consciousness wants to avoid me leaving this sofa. I had planned it weeks ago, tonight. I frightened myself at the very thought of what I planned to do but I also longed for it to happen. After the bowling alley we went out to a restaurant in town, one we had reservations for upstairs but still there was a show of loads of fans outside. Mike and Ash are arguing about a foul move in the laser game earlier. Mikey supposedly covered all his sensors while storming Ash’s base so, naturally, Ash and Harry (two Irwins) held Mikey’s arms and took all his lives at the climax of the game. Calum is playing “Fifa” with Jack. God, I hate the sound of that game. It was ok for the first few times when I moved in initially but now I am planning a sabotage of the disk. Mike would most likely murder me in my sleep and Calum would probably not talk to me for a week, but they are risks I am willing to take at this point. I’m desperate.

“Whatcha doin’?” I ask him. Luke. He’s on his phone with that empty expression one has whilst distracted by technology. He looks over to me from his phone and I stare distantly at his hands.

“Just checking my twitter,” he says with a fake smile. I want to reach out and kiss him on his little head. He’s just faking his content so I can’t see. So I do what is acceptable in front of friends and wrap my arms around his neck. My eyes are drooping as I put my leg over his lap and entwine my legs around his waist. I feel him rest his chin on my shoulder and we are in our comfortable position, the one we know without doubt. We fit together like a jigsaw and even when it isn’t the best day, our puzzle completes us.

I close my heavy eyes for a second and then look up lazily at the guys at the other side of the room. Ash eyes me and my stomach flips. That feeling of no gravity only intensifies with the feeling of Luke’s heart beating steadily through our shirts. I pull back and wink at Ash while Luke adjusts. I hold his face in my hands and gaze into the constellations in his eyes. He’s looking down and I know I need to get us upstairs.

“Hey, babba. I’m kinda tired, do ya…?” I say to him sheepishly. But he is already up.

“Sure, kid.” He’s carrying me up because I think he knows I’m tired. We say goodnight to the lads and leave the room for the hallway. I hold onto him with a yearning to never let go. I just want to stay in them for ever, to live happily in his sheltering wings for eternity. As we climb the stairs he runs his fingers through my hair and then down my spine to my legs and up again. I hold on tighter and kiss his neck as we enter my room.

It is a beautiful sight. Candles everywhere like in the movies and soft waltzes playing quietly in the corner. My bed has been cleared of all my teddies and replaced by luxurious cushions. I feel Luke catch his breath and I lean in close to his ear.

“Happy Birthday” I whisper. My nerves are going to kill me. I feel like if have to stand I’ll collapse.

“Oh my” he says in a hushed, uncertain tone. I pull back and look at him for reassurance. Just in case he isn’t ready but when we meet gazes he brings us over to the bed and lays me down gently.