duty. (boyxboy)

chapter 7.

I wrote this in two days because of the sweet comments on my last chapter :)  i call this one: 'the calm before the storm'

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Forven had been on edge all day. He couldn't get Alre out of his head. Now that they had kissed, he wanted more. That was exactly the thing Forven was scared of: wanting more and more until Alre had nothing left to give.

Forven wasn't as good of a person as others maybe thought. He was lustful, and greedy. And even if he and Aywin weren't officially married yet, he also felt unfaithful.

Guilt was the main thing he felt for Aywin. He felt like a monster, first forcing her into a loveless marriage and then loving her very own brother on top of that. He wondered what kind of horrific deeds he must have done in his previous life to be punished like this in his current one.

He raised his hand to knock on the big doors of Alre's room once, twice, three times before actually making contact with the wood, quickly knocking five times and then looking down at the floor. It wasn't long before the door opened and a disheveled looking Alre appeared in the doorway.

"Forven, you came."

"Of course I came."

"Come in! Here, please sit down," Alre said nervously. Forven smiled at that.

"You look busy, though, what has got you looking so... wild?"

Maybe Forven was teasing, wanting to see more of this Alre. The Alre that wasn't all that confident in his every action.

And maybe he really wanted to know the reason behind Alre's state; his jacket was thrown on the bed, his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his hair looked like he had been running his hands through it continuously. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, but Forven didn't want to assume that it was because of him.

"Oh! Well, I'm not busy, really. I was just," Alre began, looking away, "I was just nervous, to be honest. Don't laugh at me!"

Forven couldn't help himself. A wide grin streched across his features from Alre's confession. It felt strange, Alre being like this because of him. Forven wasn't sure what to say or how to act. This was the first time anyone had ever been so enamoured with him and it felt so foreign.

A dream, that's what it all felt like. Like Forven was going to wake up the next day and all of this would turn out to have been but a figment of his imagination.

They sat down together in front of the big fireplace, the light of the flames illuminating Alre's features, making him look warmer, softer even. Forven's heart beat just a tiny bit quicker when Alre found his gaze.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Forven, I," said Alre, fumbling around with his hands. He swallowed before continuing.

"I really, really like you and I'm so scared of ruining this- whatever this is because I'm not the one you're supposed to be with and it honesty breaks my heart because you mean so much to me but so does my sister and I don't want to hurt her either and I really don't know what to do."

Forven had listened quietly and intently and now grabbed Alre's hand, which contrasted beautifully with his own paler and skinnier one.

"I know," he said. He didn't want to comfort him by making it prettier than it was, because it really wasn't. They weren't supposed to love and it became more evident each second. Each second that the wedding came closer.

He took a deep breath before speaking his mind.

"I have to be honest with you. This- I mean, we, we wouldn't work out. I am marrying your sister in less than two weeks but God, I adore you too much to not act upon it," Forven said.