Going for Broke

Chapter 13

Blaine wakes up with Kurt lying on top of him. It takes him a moment to realize, sated with sleep and warm from Kurt's body, but eventually the realization trickles in, the fact that for the first time in years he's waking up with someone in his arms.

Kurt's face is buried in his neck, his arm and leg slung out over Blaine and tying them together. Blaine can feel the press of Kurt's nose against his skin, the flutter of his breath, slow and steady as he sleeps, the weight of him pushing against Blaine's chest, the cool tips of his fingers sliding down his sides as he stirs and then settles. Blaine can feel the velvet of Kurt's skin against his, so warm and overwhelming, and he can't believe that this is actually happening, so sudden, right when everything got so confusing. Kurt's so soft, so quiet and unaware, and completely vulnerable in a way that is both incredibly sexy and overwhelmingly terrifying. Blaine almost doesn't dare to breath.

Suddenly, the little glass bird is whole in his hands, a breakable thing, and he doesn't know what to do next, besides hold tight and feel Kurt against him while he can, because the breakable things don't last very long.

Kurt stirs again, mumbling to himself and nuzzling his face deeper into Blaine's neck. His arm tightens around Blaine's stomach and pulls them tighter together, and Blaine can't even be sure where he ends and Kurt begins, all wrapped up and tangled.

For now, this is what he gets. For now, this is perfect.

He's not sure how long he lays there, hands stroking up and down Kurt's back, and breathing in the heady scent of his skin. Kurt is his cover, molded to Blaine's body as he sleeps on, completely unaware. Heat radiates from his bare skin, and Blaine thinks that he can just feel Kurt's heartbeat faint against his chest, more intimate and precious than any sex he's had in his life.

There's a sudden beeping from his night side table, and Blaine flings one hand out to turn off his phone before it can wake Kurt.

The alarm brings him back down, reminds him of the time, reminds him that the rest of the world has continued on. Reality exists, ugly as it is. Small trivial things still control his life. He can't just stay here in bed all day, holding Kurt to him and whispering small devotions into his ear until he wakes up, no matter how much he wants to.

He can't miss work.

And more than that. It wouldn't be fair to Kurt.

He doubts Kurt remembers clearly what happened last night, and Blaine has a feeling that if Kurt wakes up in a strange bed with a half-naked man, Blaine might lose a ball or two before Kurt realizes who it is.

And even through his haze of skin and warmth and touch, Blaine is able to admit that this isn't fair to him either.

He and Kurt have shared a hug. Now, they lie here together as if it's the most natural thing in the world. The two realities attempt to overlap, entwine, but crash together and shatter instead. They don't belong together, they can't fit.

If this is to happen, if this is truly to happen, then Blaine needs to know. He might not be completely sure what it is he needs to know, but the gaps of his understanding are too great to be able to gloss over with a mere three words, no matter how pretty those words might be.

And now he realizes that he did the same thing to Kurt, practically ten months ago, when he told Kurt he loved him; it was a stupid and reckless mistake that suddenly threw everything Kurt knew out of balance, throwing ideas of 'love' into his life when living was all he had the strength to focus on. He understands now, at least, why Kurt had run out on him.

He rolls out from under Kurt, lets him fall into the pillows with a sigh. He tucks the blankets up around Kurt's shoulders, allows his fingers to linger on his shoulder, one last touch, before he heads into the bathroom to get ready.