My Best Friend's Funeral

Chapter 14

       “What do you mean you spoke to him?” Paul repeated for the 10th time. “I know it sounds crazy P, but I spoke to him. He seemed different. Unnatural” “why couldn’t I see him Cheryl?” Paul asked pacing up and down. We were outside Jake’s room. I told Paul everything because I knew I did a wrong thing by yelling at a dead person and I felt worse realizing that I might not see him again. Ever again.  “I don’t know. He said this is what let me see him” I explained holding the necklace in my palm. “right. The voodoo chain” Paul said and kept quiet for 5 minutes before he could believe me. “You think I'm nuts, don’t you?” I finally asked. I regret telling him everything now. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t” he said and stopped walking. “Cheryl” he said kneeling before me. “I certainly don’t think your completely nuts” “that helps a lot. Thanks” I said and looked away. “You saw your friend in a state you never even imagined. It could have side effects you know” I thought for a moment and believe me when I say, I was almost convinced. But, something stopped me from convincing myself that it was all a hallucination. It was Jake’s presence. He was sitting right next to me on the bed while Paul was kneeling in front of me. “What? Is he proposing now?” Jake said sarcastically. No Cheryl. You are just hallucinating. It’s an illusion. You are dreaming. I ordered myself not to respond to Jake as it would only drive me crazier. But I wanted to say sorry for being a mean, control freak! “I forgive you Cher” Jake said and smiled. I looked at him and then at Paul. “You’re right” I finally said. “Are you kidding me? You idiot! You seriously think you are hallucinating? Have you completely lost it?” Jake yelled in my ear. I shut my eyes tightly blocking him out of me head. “You’re right, I have lost it. I seriously think I'm seeing him because I miss him and didn’t expect him to look like that when I opened the coffin” I said and glanced at Jake. He stared at me with his mouth wide open. Such a drama queen. “You expected James Bond to jump out?” he scoffed and dusted his coat. “Man, this is the worst funeral I've been to. I thought it would be fun being like this” “Sucks ha?” I asked absent mindedly. “you have no idea” Jake said and just like that he vanished. “Cheryl” Paul shook my knee. “Yeah?” I asked quizzically. “You were talking to yourself again” he said and looked at me worriedly.

                             I realized I had to get out of Jake’s room if I wanted to remain completely psycho proof. We decided to leave. Seriously, I think the funeral stuff is too much to handle and that’s one of the million reasons why I never attended funerals. “Your bag’s in Britt’s room Cher” Paul reminded me. “I'll get it. Meet you in the parking lot” I said and managed a weak smile. “It’s for the best” Paul said and patted me on the shoulder. We walked down to the first floor. I walked towards Brittany’s room and turned the knob. The door didn’t open. I pushed harder yet it didn’t budge. I knocked on the door just to make sure no one was inside. I pressed one ear against the door. Nope, no one was inside. I tired the knob again but it was of no use. “What the hell” I muttered and left in search of Brittany. I flipped open my phone and texted Paul saying ‘Can’t find Britt. Will take longer’ after a second he replied with a thumbs up sign. I wanted to leave this place as quickly as possible. As I was making my way down the stairs I bumped into uncle Matthew. “Ah! If it isn’t the gorgeous Cheryl” “Hey, what’s up?” I said uninterestingly. “Going somewhere?” he asked inching closer. “Looking for Brittany” I said and forced a smile. “That good girl is in the basement” he said and wriggled his eyebrows. If I had a gun, he would be dead meat. “I better get going then” I said and turned. “Let me help you” he said and linked his arm with mine. Either he is high or he is just being a complete ass. “okay” I finally managed to say. We walked to the basement and I stopped dead when I came face to face with the painting again. “Uncle Matthew” I said turning towards him, but he looked at me with a frown and pretended to wipe a tear. “Matthew” I tried again “yes love” he replied with a grin. Creepy is the best word I can think of. “Who is this?” I said pointing towards the painting. “That’s Jake’s grandpa” “huh, never seen this painting before today” “that’s because he didn’t die before last year” I looked at uncle Matthew dumb founded. “Let me fill you in” he said and smiled. “You see darling, Grandpa here lived in Alaska. He died a simple death. Heart attack. Basically, I think it’s because Ted finally came back to Robbin after 230 or something episodes. Big fan of how I met your mother” I couldn’t help but laugh. “He was filthy rich. Although, his will was never found but he left a copy of half of it. That half said there were paintings of old grandpa in his basement which should be hung on every floor in the family house here in the Hamptons” “hmm…no one bothered to look for the will?” “well, that’s what surprises me honey. Grace seems really calm about the whole ‘rich man’s will is missing’ thing. It’s no secret that my sister is a freak” he said and laughed. I think I saw his dentures shift a little. Gross. “Moving on” he said and we walked down to the basement. “You can wait outside love. I'll go look for her” “thanks Matthew” I managed to say with great difficulty. Recollecting the whole conversation I had with uncle Matthew makes me realize the amount of “loving”  words he used. What the hell is wrong with that guy? “you are 60 for heaven’s sake!” I chided. “Sick of the flirting eh?” I whirled around and gasped in shock. “Stop scaring me Jake” “Sorry. Thought a fright before you leave would be funny” “clearly it wasn’t” I said and leaned against the wooden door. “What’s behind that?” he asked. “the basement” I said and gave a look. “I know! But why did uncle Matt go in? it’s filthy” “I don’t know about filthy but it’s definitely suffocating” I shivered remembering my first experience behind that door. My phone buzzed making me jump in fright. “Someone’s jumpy” Jake commented. Ignoring him I pulled out my phone and unlocked it. ‘ONE NEW TEXT MESSAGE’ it blinked. It was from Paul. I clicked ‘open’. The message contained an angry emoticon. I replied back with a sad emoticon and dropped my phone back into my clutch purse. “Boyfriend is checking in?” Jake asked inquisitively. “Jealous much?” I retorted. “Where did that come from?” he asked taken aback.  Why did I say that? “For the record, he is not my boyfriend” “liar liar, pants of fire” he sing-songed. “She’s not here” Uncle Matthew declared poking is head out. “Thanks so much” I sighed. Where should I go looking for Brittany in such a big  house filled with mourners, a bitchy mother and a mean neighbor? I'm not gonna say anything bad about poor uncle Matthew after all he helped me. “No problem love” he said and shut the door. “What the hell’s cooking behind you?” I raised an eyebrow as I looked at Jake who just asked the door a question. “What?! You are not giving me any answers” “you have lost it man” I said and shook my head. “I'm going in” he said and moved closer to the door. “No! “ I shouted.  “Why? Have you been in here? What’s going on?” he was so excited to know what was behind the door like as it will turn of the be like the chronicles of Narnia. “It’s definitely not Disney land, if that’s what your expecting. Just uncle Matthew consoling some depressed teenage girls” “teenage girls?” he repeated raising his eyebrows. “Going in!” he yelled and disappeared . I pushed open the door immediately and found myself standing beside a very angry Jake. “What the F?” he shouted in anger.