My Best Friend's Funeral

Chapter 23

“Where are you going?” Jake asked catching up with me as I neared the staircase which led down to the hall where all the mourners were seated crying their eyes out over Jake’s dead body while I stood here thinking what to do next with him right beside me. “Choose one” I instructed Jake and began to ramble saying “A.  Talk to Paul and apologize and ask for a full explanation.
               B. Talk to Brittany and William before I talk to Paul.
                C. Talk to Brittany first and then to William.”
Jake immediately answered “Option A”. I nodded in agreement and pulled out my phone from my clutch, dialed Paul’s number and waited till he answered my call. “What?” Jake asked impatiently. I dropped my phone back inside and said “He isn’t answering” “he must be busy. Come on, let’s go look for him”. I took a deep breath and started walking down the stairs with Jake right by my side. “Reminds you of old times doesn’t it?” he asked me and right then I smiled because that was exactly what I was thinking. “You read my mind” I said. “We always walked royally into trouble, didn’t we?” he said and laughed probably taking a quick walk down memory lane. “Oh ho Jake. Let me stop you right there. We never walked into anything. You did and I was there to help you get out” “oh
 puh-lease! Don’t act like you were spider-man-always to the rescue!” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. My stomach started to pain, I laughed that hard. “uh..Cher” Jake said slowly. “What?” I asked wiping the tears from my eyes and looked up. Darn it! All the mourners were looking at me. All of them. Every head was turned in my direction. Is that..oh no it is…it’s Grace Welling. One thing I'm sure of, is that I'm gonna be buried and most probably it will be before Jake. It’s not my imagination, it’s the glares that Grace is giving me. “Act normal” Jake whispered. “Why are you whispering?” I leaned towards him and asked. “Cheryl, a word with you ” Grace said stepping forward from behind a group of women dressed in pitch black. “Actually I'm just gonna -” “I didn’t ask for your permission. Come. Now” she spitted out cutting me off. “okay” I said obediently and followed her into the kitchen. “Out” she said to a couple who was in the kitchen. “What in God’s name is wrong with you?” she demanded the moment they left. We were the only two people. Excluding Jake. “What?” “don’t play dumb Cheryl. I can throw you out this very moment. Be grateful I'm only considering it” “I'm sorry Grace” “oh! You are sorry?” she asked sarcastically. “Yes. I really am” “really? Which part?” “how many parts are there Grace?” I asked impatiently. “Cher, calm down” Jake advised. “She’s just a little hyper because it’s my funeral. You know how much she loves me” he said. “Look, the funeral is tomorrow. Soon after we bury my beloved song, you need to  leave me and my family alone. Especially William” “oh, don’t worry. That won’t be very difficult. Consider your wish…..granted” I said and turned on my heels. “Cheryl” Grace’s voice stopped me. “I don’t know what you are up to, but you better be careful” “everybody is not what they seem, right Grace? The sweetest person might turn out to be the devil” “that’s why I advised you to be careful” she said and pushed past me out of the kitchen. “I told you she means well” Jake said proudly. “You might not like this but, I was indicating towards her when I spoke about the angel and devil” I said and tried not to look him in the eye. “You have got to be joking” he said in utter astonishment. “A good detective considers all possibilities Jake” “Yeah, but the thing is..you ain’t one” “Ouch!” I said placing my palm on my heart. “She’s my mother Cheryl. She has done a such a great job with my funeral. I love her” he said with a frown. “I'm sorry. I went too far with being Nancy Drew” “Nancy Drew?” he repeated. “The girl detective. She is so amazing” “okay stop! Couldn’t you hurt my ears less and say Holmes?” “I would but then you would be like ‘ha ha ha, Cheryl you ain’t that good’“ I said imitating Jake. “True” he said.

                  “What are you smoking on?” someone said making me jump. “Seriously darling” Well now we know who it is. Without turning to see who was standing behind me I said “Uncle Mathew” . “This dude needs to shoot himself” Jake said pointing a finger at uncle Mathew. I looked at Jake with my eyes wide open. “Which idiot makes the basement a place for mourners to feel better by smoking and drinking alcohol? He has lost it. Completely” “calm down” I said immediately. If Jake insulted uncle Mathew anymore I wouldn’t be able to control my laughter. “I didn’t see you in the basement. Is there another spot? I bet William has one somewhere. He is just like me when to comes to the important stuff” uncle Mathew said giving me  a broad smile. “Oh really? Like what? If he says education get ready to see me go ‘poof!’” Jake said standing behind uncle Mathew. “And what’s that?” I asked uncle Mathew trying my best to ignore Jake’s presence. “You know” he said and winked. “I don’t” Jake and I said together. “lying” uncle Mathew said with his eyes wide open. “He needs to shut his eyes before I pluck them out” Jake said with a very serious tone. This was it. I began to laugh and there was nothing that could stop me. “I'm serious” uncle Mathew said gulping down a big sip of red wine. “We lied so well to everybody about ‘how my boy died’” he said keeping  his glass near the sink. “Wait, what?” I asked. “Oops! I told her I'm very bad at keeping a secret” he said and smirked. “Tell me the secret” I demanded. “It’s a secret honey. It isn’t meant to be told. Right boy?” he asked turning around and standing face to face with Jake.